Have you ever tried to meditate, only to be frustrated by the incessant chatter in your mind? You’re not alone. I’ve been there too, wrestling with thoughts and feelings, trying to clear my mind and failing miserably. But what if we've been approaching meditation all wrong? What if the goal isn’t to banish thoughts from our minds, but rather to observe them without attachment?
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Ladies and meditators, andy, here I went from depressed and suicidal to living a life of abundance and joy. If I can do it, you sure as hell can too. One of the clients in my coaching program at the moment has sort of been stressing himself a little bit because he's someone that's done a ton of meditation in the past but lately, over the last like month or so, he's found that meditation hasn't been sort of clearing his mind and he finds that he's been having a lot of thoughts when he's meditating and he's unable to sort of stop those thoughts. And I want to sort of clear something up here, because I think a lot of people look at meditation Maybe not in the most helpful way. They think meditation is having a completely empty mind and they think if you're doing a good job of meditating, that means there are no thoughts in your mind, your mind is completely clear, you're literally not thinking anything, you're just completely empty. That absolutely is not my relationship with meditation. For me, meditation is not obsessing about the thoughts in your mind, and the way that I use meditation is I will sort of let the thoughts just be there, I will listen to the thoughts, I will be curious about the thoughts, because often thoughts are trying to tell you something, and if your mind is very noisy, I use meditation as a chance to get in touch with those noisy thoughts, and I literally will sit there and I will close my eyes. Or maybe I have some soft like yoga, music or something in the background. Right, we'll just sit in a park and lay on the grass and look up at the sky and I will listen to those thoughts that are in my head and I will literally ask myself the question what are these thoughts trying to tell me? Like it's useful information the thoughts in your head usually usually useful information and so I will get curious about them. I will explore them. I will sort of say, okay, like what can I learn from this? Why is my head so noisy? What is going on in my life right now that is making all these thoughts be here? Like what are these thoughts here? For these thoughts are serving a purpose. And again, often when people say that they're meditating, what they're really trying to do is suppress all of their thoughts instead of listening to their thoughts. And so what I have discovered myself is meditation isn't about having a clear, empty mind. It isn't about getting rid of the thoughts. It's about letting whatever thoughts are in your mind just sort of be there, letting them just float through your head and basically being non attached to them. And this is something that, like Buddhists and other people that meditate a lot, it's something that they talk about. They say look, it's about like not attaching to any one particular thought, just like noticing the thoughts that are in your head, just watching them pass by. And the way that I do that, like I said, is by listening to them. I will notice them and I will get curious about them and I'll go oh okay, how come that thought is there? It's not about labeling thoughts as bad, and that's what most people do when they meditate. They go okay, thoughts are bad. I'm doing a bad job if I have thoughts in my head. That means I'm doing something wrong. But the way that I look at it is why would thoughts ever be bad? They just in your head. You didn't choose to put them in your head. They just kind of there. So why would that be a bad thing? That's like saying that it's bad if there's a tree in a park, it's bad if this dog is barking, it's like, no, that's just what is currently happening. Why would that be a bad thing? We label it as bad and then we go to war with our own thoughts. That isn't meditation. That just sounds like war, that sounds like a fight, that sounds tiring and that, I think, is why so many people don't like meditating. It's why they go. Meditation doesn't work. I tried meditating and it was awful. I had a bad experience and I just, you know, I tried meditating. It doesn't work for me. Meditation is not for me. It's like, no, you didn't try meditating. Okay, okay, you did try meditating, but the way that you were doing it was like going to war with your own mind. That doesn't sound like meditation. That sounds like the opposite goal of meditation. Meditation is again there to help you relax and just be okay with whatever is going on in your mind. In other words, give yourself permission to suck at meditating, be okay with your mind being noisy. You know I'm someone that I've never gotten an official diagnosis, but I probably have a d h d. I remember having a conversation with my mother, you know, when I was like twenty nine or something, and I said you know, I've always sort of wondered if I maybe had a d h d and I can immediately my mother's like yeah, I always thought you did. And I say, okay, holy shit, why didn't you tell me? And she's like because I don't think it fucking matters. But the point is I have a very fucking noisy mind. Believe me, if anyone is gonna understand having a noisy mind that you can't suppress, it's me. And so what I figured out is okay. Maybe it's okay that I suck it having a clear mind. Maybe it's okay that I suck it having a quiet, calm mind. Maybe that's okay. And I gave myself permission to suck and I said, okay, the entire purpose of meditating for me is just gonna be to Let my thoughts do whatever the fuck they want and I can just kind of notice them and just relax a little bit and be okay with my noisy head. Because, again, the part that really hurts Is not that your mind is noisy. The part that hurts is that you think it shouldn't be. It's arguing with the fact that your head is noisy, that you have thoughts in your mind. The part that hurts is you saying it shouldn't be like this my mind should be clear. If you just let go of that expectation to have a clear mind, you might find that you end up getting the very thing that you wanted to get from meditation in the first place, which was a sense of peace, a sense of being okay. In other words, you're allowed to just skip the entire Thing that meditation was trying to give you and jump to that end point of just saying I'm okay. You can literally just say to yourself it's okay that my mind is noisy, I'm okay, it's alright. You know, I give myself permission to suck at this meditation shit. I give myself permission to suck at this having a clear mind shit, and I'm just okay. It's what you were trying to get from meditation anyway, while I have you in a hopefully clear minded state, now is the perfect time to tell you about an awesome, fucking life changing coaching deal that we have right now. If you join my coaching program, not only will we change your god damn life, but you will get 18 weeks instead of the usual 12 weeks of coaching. 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Link is in the description below. As always, ladies and gentlemen, go out there and crush those goals and Try a little bit of meditation. You don't have to be perfect with it. It's not about clearing your mind. It's sort of more about no-transcript.