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Ladies and people. In my coaching group at the moment, a couple of guys were talking about how they feel like they struggle to break the mold and do things that maybe aren't. It's not that things aren't socially acceptable, but maybe go against the grain a little bit. And I think this is a or this is a topic that comes up quite a lot. Right, like a lot of the goals that you guys and girls have, whether that's making money, whether it's getting laid a lot, whether it's losing weight and caring about your appearance and going to the gym, a lot of that stuff. It's not that it's socially unacceptable, but it isn't socially common. And at first you can feel like a little bit of a weirdo. You can feel like, man, am I doing something wrong? Almost like this strange feeling of am I going to get in trouble or something? You know, if I go and hit on some women in public, even if I'm super nice about it, even if I'm super respectful, super chill, am I doing something creepy? Like, is there something wrong there? I know myself I had all sorts of weird feelings when I first started talking to women hitting on women in public. It felt really, really, really weird, because it's not something that I saw most other human beings doing, and so I had this strange sense of like I'm going down this path that not a lot of people have done. You know, I know in hindsight a lot of people hit on women, but at the time I felt like nobody else is doing this. I'm a weirdo. I don't see anybody else outside doing this. Maybe there's something wrong with me if I do this. I absolutely felt like this when I started my website. You know, I started my website very honest and open and I put a lot of myself out there. I have a lot on my website on killyournilosercom. I have a lot of nude pictures of myself, of the women that I've done some photo shoots with. We have nude videos of some of the videos that we've shot together, and I felt very uncomfortable doing that, because that's not what most people do. Most people don't put their sex life on the internet. Most people don't put themselves in their honesty and their vulnerability on the internet. Most people don't talk about when they're struggling with something, whereas I do all the damn time. When I got into BDSM, I felt very uncomfortable very much. I was like this is not socially acceptable. I even had a couple of people they weren't friends, they were people that I knew that said oh, bdsm is abuse, bdsm is like bad, and so I absolutely understand, as much as anybody else, this feeling of I'm doing something that isn't socially acceptable. And to get back to this conversation that I had over the last couple of days in the coaching group with some of the other guys, is we were talking about how, in school, we learn a lot of our behaviors, or a lot of the behaviors that we learn as adults come from, or that we have as adults come from childhood, come from our schooling years. In other words, school taught us a lot. It taught us how to see the world. It taught us how to interact with other people, and I don't believe that that is always the healthiest or, our phrase it like this the most effective rule set. I don't believe that school taught us adequately for a lot of the goals that a lot of us have I mean, I think, most people. In general, school doesn't really teach them any life skills whatsoever. It doesn't teach you how to make friends. It doesn't teach you how to deal with depression. It doesn't teach you what to do if you feel unmotivated. It doesn't teach you how to set goals in life. It doesn't teach you how to figure out what you want from life. It doesn't teach you how to have a budget. It doesn't teach you anything about money, doesn't teach you how to move out of home, doesn't teach you what to do if your boss is addicted to you. It doesn't teach you anything about love or relationships or monogamy or non-monogamy. It doesn't teach you about raising children. It doesn't teach you about marriage. It doesn't teach you about basically anything. It doesn't teach you about mental health. It doesn't really teach you any life skills whatsoever, but it does a very effective job at teaching you about mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, or hey, here's how rain clouds are formed. So very good at teaching you shit that maybe isn't super useful for real life, but maybe less so of the useful stuff in life. Yeah, basically, school Doesn't do a very effective job of making you an adult, and certainly not if you have an idea that you want to be working on some goals that are maybe against the grain when it comes to society. So, like if you're someone, like I said before, that wants to go out and have an amazing sex life and do a lot of crazy kinky things. No, in school, and I guess in society as well. But we'll focus on school for a little bit. In school you're taught that like you know, that would be wrong, that would be bad. You're taught that, like questioning authority would be very fucking bad. And so we sort of you know, in this discussion in the coaching group this client and a couple of other guys were talking about you know, I feel like I struggle to sort of break out of that societal programming or that programming that was put into me In school and it definitely showed up. You know, this guy in the coaching program said it showed up when it comes to goals and things that he thinks are important, because in school he was told that those things aren't important. And image in my girlfriend went through this to in her school. She went to like a private school and they sort of drilled it into her that the smart kids, if you want to be something in life you have to go and be an engineer or you have to go and do something like Intelligent. But anything creative is for like dumb kids. And she's obviously an artist. She loves to paint, she loves to draw, she loves to sketch. She's really fucking talented. But I've watched her over the last five years and I've helped her, and she's helped herself, break out of that programming that was put into her in school and she was essentially told many, many, many times never actively, but always like Insinuated, and so all of her friends. It was insinuated to them that if you want to be an artist or something, that means that you settled and you didn't do a good job, and so she's. I've watched her and I've helped her break out of that programming over the last you know five years and essentially show herself that no, if this is something that I find important, just because school Drilled into me for like twelve years that this isn't as important, I'm allowed to do what I want. And so that's kind of where this discussion went with this coaching client of mine and the rest of the coaching group was, you know, him feeling like I have some goals and I have some philosophies and some ways of thinking and some mindsets, but that often conflicts with what I was Trained on or what I was programmed, I guess you would say, by the school system, and so he sort of been breaking himself out of that matrix, which has been really awesome. I love seeing people Giving themselves permission to go for the things that they actually want. And I always bring it back to my Libertarian philosophy. And if you don't know what a libertarian is, it's basically somebody who just says, do whatever the fuck you want, as long as it's not hurting anybody else. And so I always bring it back to that philosophy of if you guys and girls want something, as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else, and Ideally it's good for other people. But even if it's just good for you I mean, you're a person so even if it's just good for you and it doesn't really hurt anybody else, I am absolutely here for that. I don't care what that goal is. If it's something that is important to you, I will help you make that happen. I will facilitate that. That is essentially what I'm here for, and so I really love when I see someone give themselves permission to do something that maybe is counter to society or counter to the schooling system. And so I went through this discussion with this coaching client of mine and I basically pointed out that almost everything that we're doing and this applies to you listening right now you know, if you're listening to this podcast, if you're in this community, if you're even just tangentially in this community. You have an idea that you want something. Right, you probably want a few different things. Maybe that's money, maybe that's women if you're a woman listening maybe that's men, whatever it might be, it doesn't really matter. But you have an idea that you probably want some things and I want to sort of all. The point of my content is to give you permission to go for those things, and those things are a lot of them anyway Likely not socially validated, I guess you would say, or like what most people are doing in society. It's not that they're socially unacceptable, though some of them might be, but it's more that they're just not what the average person really cares about. The average person isn't sitting around listening to a fucking podcast about mindset and happiness and peace and love and goals and self improvement. They just not. The average person isn't into self improvement. In fact, for most of my life because I used to be an average person, obviously For most of my life I still laugh at the self help section in libraries and bookstores. I was like self help hot, that's for losers and I think that's a lot more common than maybe we think and that's fine, like it's just sort of a misunderstanding. And if somebody doesn't want to get into self improvement, hey, that's beautiful. You know, don't get into self improvement. But when we go down this path of self improvement and goal setting and achieving things and all of that, you really do break away from a lot of the programming that was put into you in school. And so I went through this list with this client of mine and said you know, when you think about it is all the things that Aren't socially validated by the school system. In other words, like we're doing something different from what was trained into us or programmed into us in school. Like, is getting laid Socially validated by the school system? Like by our programming when we were in school, when we were children? No, getting laid absolutely goes against the grain. Is going for enlightenment, you know, like being more happy, being more peaceful, being more joyful, being more loving to those around you. Is that taught to us in school? Fuck, no, are you kidding me? School does not exist to make you enlightened. It's kind of the opposite. And school is doing its best. Everybody, every teacher who's at school, is genuinely trying to do their best. They're only a small cog in a giant machine, and so if you're someone that might have had some amazing teachers. I had to. I'm gonna say one really amazing teacher, but that's just one teacher in a giant system. It's like are there some amazing police officers out there? Absolutely, but they're in a giant fucking system of power and control. Are there some amazing politicians out there? Fuck yeah, like, look at the system that they're in. And so I think the system, generally speaking, is trying to do its best, but it's maybe just not doing the most effective job that it could be. And so is school there to help you be enlightened? Fuck no. And so if you're someone that cares about you know peace, love, happiness, joy, those you know, more welcoming, less judgmental emotions and all of that sort of stuff you are kind of going against your programming. Is going against society's grain acceptable in school? Fuck no. Is thinking for yourself acceptable in school? Some of you might have exceptions to this where you say, well, I had a teacher who, let us think for ourselves, but for the most part, no, school doesn't really want you to think for yourself. I think a lot of society doesn't really want you to think for yourself, and that's not nefarious. It's not like society is trying to fucking program you and ruin your life and all of that. No, society is just trying to do its best. You know people believe stories about they need money, or you know they have to program you with marketing that tells you what to think, because they're desperate for money, because they have to please their shareholders and I have to pay the bills and all of that kind of stuff. I've gotten caught up in that thinking myself at times. You know so. People are doing their best, but, generally speaking, like? Is thinking for yourself socially normal? No, it's not. You know, the idea of not forcing other people to just agree with your opinion is that talk to you in school? Fuck no. No, school is literally set up so that the teacher's opinion or what the teacher is saying is correct and you have to shut up and do what they say Is caring about your body. You know, if you're somebody that wants to lose weight or wants to add muscle, wants to look good, is that taught in school? Is that socially normal in school or in greater society? Generally speaking, fuck. No, most people are overweight. Is not just immediately all the idea of you know, maybe questioning authority or at least just saying, hey, I just want to make sure I want to double check that what you're saying is correct. I know you're calling yourself the expert, but I just wanted like double check to make sure that that's true. Is that taught to you in school? Fuck no. Is that socially acceptable? Fuck no. No, the idea of questioning authority is absolutely not acceptable. Like socially acceptable. I even say in my content all the time. I don't want you to just believe me just because I have a podcast in a few thousand subscribers. I don't want you to just believe me. I want you to think for yourself. That isn't a commonly taught thing. If you're unhappy with the situation, is that taught to you in school? Or is that socially acceptable? Generally speaking, fuck no. You know, a lot of what we teach here is if you're not happy with something, look for a solution, solve it. That isn't really taught. That isn't really the norm in society or in school. In our upbringings, our parents don't teach us that. Parents tell us to just shut the fuck up and do what we're told, and our parents are trying to do their best as well their human beings, with a lot of stress, a lot of things on their plate. They're not trying to Nefariously control you. Neither is school. Neither is the government, neither is society. At least that isn't my impression. It used to be my impression. I used to think that the government and school was just there, is like Some sort of evil fucking corporation to control you. But, generally speaking, you know, we teach in this community or we talk about in this community. If you're unhappy with the situation, either leave or change it or look for a solution or talk to the other person and see if you guys can come up with some sort of agreement like that isn't taught in school, that isn't taught in society, and so if that is something that you want, you have to sort of be okay with Going against the generally taught ideas in society. And the reason that I'm doing this podcast, the reason that I'm sort of going through this list, is to give you permission, if you want to, to give you permission to be okay with going against society's grain a little bit. It doesn't have to mean like fuck you society, although I did feel like that myself for a couple of years. So if you feel like that, hey, you know, that's beautiful, that might be part of your journey, but I'm trying to give you permission or get you to give yourself permission that a lot of the goals you're working on. You might feel a little bit weird when you work on them. At first it might feel weird to start hitting on women. It isn't socially Taught, it isn't socially normal. And it's not that anything bad will happen unless you're in like I don't know Afghanistan or something and you start hitting on women in public. Yet maybe don't do that. But In most western and european and asian countries like nothing bad will happen. But it might feel really creepy and weird. It might feel really uncomfortable because it isn't what most people do. If you're in a situation like you're at work and you're just really not happy with your boss and with the live, with the working conditions, it might feel really uncomfortable if you start talking to your friends or other people about quitting Because they might be like no, you can't quit, like why you could? You I wish we could all just like ditch our jobs at the first sign of distress. Like you might have some of that pushback a little bit because people's own insecurities and their own ability to leave a situation they're not happy with it'll come up to the surface or it might come up to the surface with them and so they might be some discomfort there, questioning authority. You know I've had situations where I you know this is many years ago where I would see a doctor or something and maybe I wasn't happy with what they said and I just be like, hey, like I know you're saying to do this, but I read in an article. I read in like you know I'm not someone to just read an article, but you know, I spent like 20 hours researching this and a couple of studies have come out, this sort of like go against what you're saying here. So like Can we talk about a little more? And I've had a few doctors that are just like, why are you reading stuff on the internet? Just do what I say you probably earlier this year was pretty close, so they didn't know what you are going to do, and it's like, okay, that's uncomfortable for me. I've had many times where, working on enlightenment or towards like peace and love and happiness and things like that, being a more free human being, I guess, being a higher thinking human being when I have those conversations or when I go down that path, I've had some discomfort there because I'm doing something that most people don't do. You know, going to yoga retreats and sitting around meditating and just taking a day off and sitting on the beach and all of that. A lot of people, that isn't what they do. They think it's silly, they think it's woo, woo, magical bullshit, nonsense, even though all I'm really talking about is meditating a little bit and chilling out a little bit, and so a lot of this stuff is very socially. It's not unacceptable, but it's like it's not what most people in society are doing. I can continue giving more examples. You know, listening to your emotions instead of just bottling them up and shutting up and like getting on with the job, getting on with life you know that's not socially normal. We talk all the time on this channel and on my YouTube channel and in my content of like. You know, don't bottle your emotions up, like like, listen to them. You know your emotions are trying to teach you something. Your emotions aren't bad. That's another thing I say all the time. If you're angry, that's not a bad thing. Maybe that anger is there for a reason. Maybe it's helping to motivate you. Maybe you're angry because you know blah, blah, blah, whatever the reason might be, but that anger is like serving a purpose. It's probably useful in some way. So let's investigate. Let's figure out why you're angry, like maybe it's helping you, and then let's just see if we can use a different tool instead of anger, like is there a more calm, rational tool that we can use so you can be a little bit less angry? Can we just aim to be 1% less angry every single week? Can we just see anger or calmness like peace? Can we see that as like something that you just practice and live a lot? That isn't fucking socially normal? Most people literally just dulled their emotions with Instagram, with YouTube, with alcohol, with porn, with video games, with TV, with Netflix, with doom scrolling on these social media apps, just constantly keeping your dopamine as high as you possibly can, while also keeping your fucking anxiety and cortisol as high as you possibly can. You know, buying new shit, binge, eating, all of that. Most people self-medicate rather than dealing with the actual stressful thing. Most people bottle up the problems that they have in their life or the things that are making them unhappy, rather than going, hey, how can I improve this, how can I make myself a little bit happier? And so, if you're even just someone who's like yo, I want to get in touch with my emotions, especially if you're a fucking man. Holy shit, if you're a man listening to this and you're working on listening or tapping into those emotions and going, yo, hey, I think these emotions might actually be useful If I could listen to these, I think that would help my life, like I literally think I would be a more well-rounded human being if I could listen to my emotions. That is not socially normal for men. There are lots of men that do that and I've surrounded myself in my life with men who are emotionally self-aware, I guess you would say, but in the greater society that is not fucking normal. That really isn't normal. And hey, women bottle their emotions up too. I will say, nowhere near as much as men, generally speaking, but lots of women bottle their fucking emotions and tell themselves like no, I just have to put up with this, like, whether that's in the workplace, whether that's in the bedroom, god, how many of you women listening right now have like deep fucking insecurities about your body, about your ability to please a man, about your attractiveness? How many of you spend fucking one hour every single day going to town on your face when it comes to makeup, hiding every little blemish, every little slightly uneven bit of your skin, every pore. That's like maybe showing if you have a pimple or a little tiny bit of reddening of the face. Like holy shit, everything's going to shit, my life is going to shit, man. Like you bottle that shit up because that's what you were taught, that's what everybody else seems to be doing, and so if you're someone that tries to tap into that a little bit, tap into those emotions and listen to them and be a little bit more present, be a little bit less judgmental on yourself, that's not socially normal. And so, again, the point of this podcast today is to give you permission or to tell you that it's okay if some of this stuff that you're working on feels a bit weird, because most people aren't doing it. Most people aren't listening to their emotions. They're bottling them up, because listening to your emotions can be a little bit scary at the start. You know, most people don't value happiness above, like doing what you're told and fitting in God. Most people value fitting in above all else. Most people value safety and complacency, I guess, above all else. Look at 2020 to you know, 2022, with all the lockdowns and all of that sort of bullshit, most people were so fucking obsessed with safety and just fitting in and while everybody else is wearing a mask, so I guess I have to. Well, everybody else is okay with like completely tanking their fucking mental health by staying inside and literally not seeing daylight and literally not hanging out with their friends. What an insane concept. By the way, most people are okay with that, so I guess I just have to put up with that. You know, that was kind of what most people did. And if you were someone like me who said like no, I'm not going to participate in that security theater that all of you seem to be participating in, you know, I didn't wear a mask in a country where the fines for not wearing one were like $8,000. It was very uncomfortable going outside when literally everybody else was inside and police were roaming the streets and literally shooting protesters with tear gas and rubber bullets and stuff. That was very uncomfortable. And so if you're someone that you know, you don't have to be that fucking extreme. I am, generally speaking, a very stubborn person, a very principled person. I'll phrase it like that. I know what I want and I go for that, but you don't have to be that extreme. But if you, you know, be as extreme or not as extreme as you want, but if you're someone that doesn't necessarily just want to fit in and want to be safe above all else, like everybody else or like a lot of other people, that might be uncomfortable. You know, if you even on a similar note, if you care about other human beings Instead of just sort of telling other people what to do or telling other people what opinion to have, if you genuinely care about other human beings and you're like you can hold space for their opinions, hold space for their emotions, if you're generally a very empathetic person, like it's not that that's socially unacceptable, but that's not like normal. Most people are sort of so hyper focused on their own needs and that's not a bad thing but that they caught up in their own stories, that caught up in their own suffering, that caught up in their own supposed needs and Desires and all of that, that they don't really have space or time for somebody else. And again, everybody else is just doing the best that they can. It's not a bad thing. They're not horrible, selfish human beings. In fact, I love that they're able to focus on themselves and hopefully they do get to a point where they handle their own wants and then they're able to start looking at helping other people and if not, hey, that's beautiful too, but it's very abnormal to have a community. It's not abnormal but like it's not common to have a community of people that genuinely give a shit about each other like we do here. And so you know, to underline this point again, you have to sort of think that everything that we're doing and the people that we are trying to be Is sort of the exact opposite of what's taught to be socially acceptable, like during our formative years in school, you know from our parents, in the workplace, you know, and then as adults, like a lot of the shit that we're doing maybe most of the shit is not super common. And again, you don't have to have a mindset about you, don't have to have a mindset like fuck society, you know they're all stupid, like. And if you are in that mindset, that's okay. Like I said, I went through that mindset for like A number of years, so I wouldn't hold it against you if you're, if you're going through the same thing, but it doesn't have to be like that. But it's basically just realizing like look, other people are sort of prioritizing safety and fitting in above all else and they're not really doing what they actually want. But there's a really good book called the top five regrets of the dying and it was written by this woman who worked as a nurse and she saw like thousands or tens of thousands of people like dying, like literally. Her job was to work at a palliative care Place, which is where people go when they literally going to die like you have three months to live and you're gonna die, and she would like love them as they died. And the regret that came up the most was like I wish I had lived a life that was more true to myself. Like I wish I hadn't cared what other people thought and what other people told me to do. In other words, I wish I hadn't cared so much about what's socially acceptable. I wish I'd actually asked myself, like what do I actually want? And then had the courage to go for that. And that's sort of the purpose of my community. As I've said in this podcast, my mission is for you guys and girls to tell me what you want, like what you care about, and for me to do everything I possibly can to help make that happen. Whether or not that's you just listening to these podcasts, whether it's going on my YouTube video and on my YouTube channel and leaving comments and me helping you a little bit, whether it's jumping on one of the one on one calls that I have the short calls and me helping you there, whether it's going on our forums you know I'm not on the forums, but the guys on there are amazing or whether it's signing up for the hardcore coaching program or whatever way you interact with me and the rest of the people in this community. The mission has always been if you want something, as long as it's a positive influence on either the world or yourself, I want to help make that happen. So, whatever your goals might be, if they feel a little bit weird, or if you feel like creepy, or you feel like man, I don't see anybody else doing this like is it wrong to want this thing? Nobody else seems to want this thing. So why do I want this thing? It's like well, you want it and that's good enough for me. So if there's something that you want, I understand the feeling of it being weird, but the answer is just take some little baby steps. That's why we push baby steps all the time. You know I don't tell any of you to, just like I tell you to go all in, but at the start I say, just take some baby steps and eventually you get to a point where you're ready to go all in and take massive action and do some crazy shit. But Baby steps are really nice fucking way to start and you'll slowly feel like okay, it's okay if I'm doing something that's not socially acceptable. In other words, whatever you want, that's beautiful, make it happen. I said a second ago, like if you are at that point where you're ready to go all in, you know I have a big, sexy, amazing coaching program and at this point in time we're offering 18 weeks instead of the usual 12 weeks if you sign up in the next three weeks and pay in full. I'll leave a link in the description below to that. We have changed a ridiculous number of lives at this point and I can't even take the credit, you know what I mean like we've built this amazing community. We've literally set up a brotherhood In the coaching program. I have, as part of the coaching program, like a discord channel that you get to stay in for the rest of your life, and so it's all of the coaching clients that I've worked with and all the ones that I will ever work with and it's this like amazing fucking community. This like Just a really good, amazing set of human beings who will push each other. And so I can't even take the credit for the coaching program being fucking amazing like I really can't. It's all the people that we brought through the program. Yes, I set it up. Yes, I obviously coach people for the 12 weeks or, like I said, 18 weeks if you pay in full in the next three weeks, but it's everybody that we've screened in there just fucking wonderful human beings. So if you do listen to this podcast and you're feeling like man, my goals, I just I struggle to give myself permission to work on. I feel like I'm weird for wanting these things right, feel creepy, or I feel like I don't have anybody else who's on the same path as me. I don't know anybody in my life who's wanting the same things. Please, please, please, fucking consider signing up for the coaching program. If you can't pay in full. You know I have a payment plan, that's perfectly fine, but please don't sit there and like Feel all alone. Feel like your goals are good enough. I don't want any of you to sit there thinking like I'm not allowed to have the things that I want, or I kinda want them. But I'm just, I'm worried. I don't see anybody else doing this. Like I swear to God, maybe like 25% of the people who come to the coaching program literally just say to me I'm literally just here so that I can network with the other people. Like I just want a community of people that will tell me that my goals are okay. Like I just want to be accepted and understood for the first time in my fucking life. I want someone to tell me that it's okay to want the things that I want and I'm not weird, I'm not a creep, I'm not a freak, I'm not like selfish, I'm not bad. It's okay to want these things and I just want a group of people that will help push me. So I think, more than anything, that's what the coaching program offers and obviously I will coach you and do everything I possibly can to change your life as much as I possibly humanly can. I give a hell of a lot of love, you know. I'm sure you can tell I put a lot of love into these podcasts, but I'm able to put 10 times as much love into the coaching program because, hey, you're paying me, you're paying my bills, and so I record every single day, you know, 30 minute voice messages, 30 minute podcast, essentially for everyone in the coaching program. So you know you might have some basic question. We like, hey, andy, which Tinder picture should I use? And I will like record a fucking 30 minute, 45 minute video just for you, going like, hey, do this, do this, do this. So it's effectively one on one coaching. And cam does the exact same thing. Cam is a coach in the program. We have two other coaches, ed and Taylor. They do the same thing. So it's like you might ask a question and four of us will record like voice messages and detailed answers for you. It feels like you're essentially getting four times one on one coaching, plus everybody else in the group, plus that community. So if that sounds good to you, please don't sit there. And you know, make excuses and go. Now's not the right time. I gotta get the money together, blah, blah, blah. It's like just look for a fucking solution Right, borrow the money, take out a bank, do whatever you need to do, even if now's not the right time. Whenever I hear someone say now's not the right time, it's like isn't that the perfect time to be in a coaching program, when you feel like it's not the right time. Isn't that the time you need the most amount of help? Like, isn't that literally the time when you'd benefit from other people, like cleaning your life up and going? Okay, let's organize your life, let's motivate you, let's push you. You feel like you don't have enough time right now. Let's reorganize your calendar and make it easier for you so that you have a little bit more free time. That's like half of what we do in the fucking coaching program. So Don't make excuses. There's a link in the description below. Click that. I will jump on a call with you, will move things ahead and we will absolutely change your life, like we've changed All these other wonderful guys and girls lives as well. As always, ladies and gentlemen, right there and crush those goals, whatever those goals might be. I promise you, whatever your goals are, they're fucking beautiful and you deserve to make them happen.