Kill Your Inner Loser / Andy Wells

Oh No, You've Angered the Gods!

August 29, 2023 Andy
Oh No, You've Angered the Gods!
Kill Your Inner Loser / Andy Wells
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Kill Your Inner Loser / Andy Wells
Oh No, You've Angered the Gods!
Aug 29, 2023
Andy

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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

** COACHING **
Grab the 18 week coaching deal - it's only for the next 12 days and only when you pay in full:
https://kyil-extra.com/coaching


------------------

 
 
   

▬ Start Here! ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
😊 Here's EVERYTHING I learned going from depressed & suicidal to living a life of abundance & joy. It's all yours for only $1: https://playtowinmindset.com

▬ COACHING ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
🏆 OUR COACHING PROGRAM (book a FREE call with Andy to discuss if you're a good fit for the program) - https://kyil-extra.com/coaching

🤵 1-on-1 coaching call with Andy ($200 - limited to 1 per person): https://kyil-extra.com/calls

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Speaker 1:

Yo, what's happening? Ladies and gentlemen, right now we have a killer deal. If you sign up for coaching within the next 12 days, you will get 18 weeks instead of the usual 12 weeks. Now is the right time to change your life. There's a link in the description below. Click that.

Speaker 2:

Hey, everybody in this video we're going to talk about another one of my favorite articles that Andy has ever written. I think everyone on this who watches this channel is very familiar with his videos, but I'm not sure how many of you've actually gone to his blog and read through his older articles, back from when he was doing like you know game and dating like a lot harder, when he was going through his phase of you know learning how to pick up BDSM girls, learn how to pick up free sims on the regular, when he was finding a lot of stuff out. He was also writing these great blog posts and, yes, some of them are just absolute classics and this is one of my favorite ones and actually, unlike the last one I talked about, this is also one of Andy's favorite ones, so we're actually in sync and aligned when it comes to One of his articles being the best. This one is called oh no, you've angered the gods, and it really goes for the throat of inexperienced and new guys who are telling themselves a load of bullshit stories about their own dating. I kind of want to have a home that, when you're inexperienced and that you don't know a lot about dating women, about getting laid, about the whole process. You're not. You're not a reliable observer or narrator of what's happening. You don't have the experience.

Speaker 2:

Now, when it comes to what we're going to talk about, there also be guys who are experienced, who will occasionally fall into this trap, but I'm going to let them off because, well, they have feet, they have the feedback from the world, they have the experience, they have their own data. So if they're coming to certain conclusions, it's actually based more off of dated and what I'm going to talk about. But for guys who have like dated maybe like one or two girls who are virgins or who would been with one girl their entire life and have got out that relationship and now trying to start to date, a lot of the ideas you have about dating Are superstitions. That's like all I can really that's the best generous as I can be because their theories that you have in your mind that aren't based off of a lot of evidence, that based more of like one off occasions or every now and again, and because that thing led to maybe a bad outcome or even maybe a good outcome in your dating life, you've put on you Undue value on whatever it was that you did or didn't do.

Speaker 2:

One of the examples Andy gives in this article is the 10 second reply idea, where Guys have this idea they reply to quickly to girls messages that that is maybe a reason that girls don't have sex with them or think they're too needy or whatever. And typically, replying faster messages is actually a good thing in my experience, especially when on Tinder, you want to reply to the messages while you're at the top of a stack sometimes, and the guys will have a couple of experiences where they have maybe texted girls back like really quickly, and then the girl stops responding or the girl comes out on a date but doesn't have sex with them and they blame it on something as small as this and this is what we mean by taking a very small sample size and this is why it's mostly aimed at an experienced guys and then creating a rule in your head Based off of this one small thing, which is essentially now becoming a superstition, and the reason that you put it down as like oh no, I've angered the gods is the guys will stack up Quite a few of these superstitions. You know quite a few of these so called rules like stuff, like everything you have to do on a date everything you have to do on messaging, everything you have to do on, like, in the bedroom. When you get her back to yours and like, if you have all of these rules, you're gonna be like really harsh on yourself, you're gonna be really stressed and really nervous and if you break any of these superstitions it's gonna might be become something of a self-fulfilling prophecy in your mind because you did something you're not meant to do and you anger the gods and then you don't get to have sex with a girl or you do the girl ghost you or the girl flakes on your date. You know that's because in your mind you did something wrong when, realistically, you have no idea why a girl rejected you in any one off occasion.

Speaker 2:

We just don't we can't read girls minds. It's very rare that you'll get like an explanation if you ask them, although some girls potentially will give you some explanation. It's just one of those things where we see guys a lot making up like stories in their minds as to why certain girls rejected them, and we want an experience guys to try and seriously avoid doing this if they possibly can like just avoid making up stories or At best learn to spot when you're making up stories, like if you can catch yourself in the process of making up stories and saying, oh, I did this thing, therefore this happened. You can catch yourself and go, no, no, no, I don't really have enough data, I don't really have enough experience to say that for certain I might be wrong. Then you'll suddenly be a lot more free because you'll stop like blaming yourself, you'll stop having those self-fulfilling prophecy moments, you'll give yourself a bit of a break.

Speaker 2:

Understanding that, like dating is in the early days, when you have not have much daily, don't have much experience, it could be, can feel quite chaotic If it was like you're like trapped in a storm, like blowing in several different directions. You don't really have no what you're doing. But after like a hundred days, yeah, you kind of get into a groove, you get into a rhythm. You have like more, I guess, trained reflexes to a lot of stuff. You have a trained vibe. You have just don't really need to think about it a lot of it's just done on instinct and reflex and muscle memory and that's what you want to get to. You don't really want to be in a situation where you're stacking up all of these rules that you have to follow. Like I said earlier, experience guys. A lot of them have tested a lot of stuff. You see, guys on our forums you know they've a lot of them with massive experience. You know like three figure lay counts. They've tested a lot of things and, yeah, at that point you kind of have the right To start saying this is probably what works, based on my last hundred experiences of this. That's fair, that's a decent sample size.

Speaker 2:

At the same time, understand that you can do basically everything wrong, so to speak, and still get laid A lot of the time when we focus on these like, self development is a good thing in this regard because of like, if you're like incredibly good looking, if you have an incredibly strong tender profile, a lot of what we would call like game and the strategies, and like your behavior on the dates, etc. You really have to fuck up quite badly To like not get, to not get laid. When you are reached a certain point in self development, when you look, as Andy would say, when you look like a literal God, it's really hard to punt it, and the fact that guys can just get laid accidentally it's also kind of down to the numbers game to like, at some point you're gonna meet girls that are so fuck, yes, that none of these rules fucking matter, none of the advice in game fucking matters. You just met a girl who is so hard into you that you'd really have to like deny having. You'd have to have to have to like reject her to fuck it up like you'd have to reject yourself, and I've seen guys do that. To be fair, it's one of those things where guys can reject themselves with girls like. It's not always a case of a girl rejecting you, it's a guy, just you don't go with it. You don't have like that drive, just go with it. You make up an excuse in your mind and then for some reason, you twist it to say that she rejected you and really you didn't put yourself forward and make a move when she was really, like you know, there for it. So I think, yeah, just be aware of like situations where it's a real slam dunk and none of these rules fucking matter. That's what we like about.

Speaker 2:

I'm Alex or Mosey has a saying and it's obviously to do with business, not to do with dating, but he likes to say there are no rules and like, and part of that is, like you know, people innovating that, the landscape changing. Things are not the same as they were like two years ago and in business things move very quickly. There's creative destruction. Dating changes to like online dating completely, like you know, change the shape of modern dating and it's only been around really since like 2012 ish. I remember being at university when tinder came out. Now I've got other dating apps that are very popular, very successful. People would argue that Post COVID it's been quite weird. Like dating's been a bit interesting and things have changed a little bit even more like the post me to Movement. Things have changed from the advice that was given before me too. So there's a lot of things going into what the rules are, what people are advising at any given time.

Speaker 2:

We're gonna keep doing fucking air quotes. You know we want guys to be a little more flexible and roll with it and innovate and try their own stuff, but I think fundamentally I want inexperienced guys To recognize they don't know very much, to recognize when they don't have much data, to be humble, to be open to trying new things. Andi and I are very big on guys, you know, trying the direct and honest approach for a, for instance, being more direct, being more honest in your conversations with girls. You don't have to do that necessarily, like on tinder and the apps, but, like we would recommend that when you're in person having like a connection with a girl that you like, you know you be free and willing to like open up a little bit more and bring her on to your team. That's the sort of thing that we recommend, and guys can be a little bit hesitant towards this because of the rules, that's they've been given by other creators in the space, by their own superstitions, more so, though, by guys who, just from their own limited Experience, haven't had any, you know, haven't attempted this, haven't tried this.

Speaker 2:

Once guys try to get to the top. Just, guys, try being honest with girls, being direct with girls, and it works, they're all on board. But, you know, before they do it, while they're still full of superstitions about what dating should be, what their experiences have been, what, like their four experiences with women have been like and what that informed them, they can be, yeah, very hesitant to try this slightly more out there more, you know, it's quite a radical pardon the pun Outlook to say you know, be as honest as you can with girls, be super direct. So, yeah, it's, it's something that it's a struggle that Andy and I have as coaches, and also the coaches in our group, you know, to sometimes get across to guys that these things work. We have proof that it works. We have, you know, other people that prove that works. That's how it sometimes that works best if you're trying to like, get through someone's superstitions, if you're trying to get through someone's you know preconceived beliefs.

Speaker 2:

It's good to be able to point to examples and you know Andy has tons of examples of previous clients and coaching clients. If you want to see the evidence of the stuff that, like, andy preaches and the the stuff that he preaches to get to him girls who are into BDSM and get some De threesomes, the stuff that I have always personally used in my dating, on my online dating, in my approaches, if you just go to his client interviews you'll see the successes that guys have had. I think what's most appealing about our direction, in our style, is that a lot of guys want to be that way. A lot of guys want To be more direct and honest, but they think, you know, they think it's like the wrong tactic or the wrong strategy and the more inexperienced guys we can get to see that it's worth trying, or at least be open to trying it and knock through some of these superstitions, the better for us and the better for those guys. I will say I have to be like mindful of my own Superstitions I'm not saying this doesn't ever happen to me, you know.

Speaker 2:

Like becoming superstitious, extrapolating a rule set about dating from like a one or two one off, like one off occasions Everyone is susceptible to it, no matter how advanced you are. There's probably like guys who are, like you know, multi hundred, lake out whatever, who have these sort of superstitions aren't true, but like it's just been stuck in their mind, like I often get, like you know, I read the forums and I see something interesting from other guys and the idea will get like stuck in my mind and it's like it's not based off any actual practical experience, is more based off of someone's you know very Convincing arguments or they pointed to other evidence. Like the other thing that's true and dating is that a lot of different methods can work and the debate is obviously, like you know, which one is better. That's not really the point that's important, like if they all work, then they're all valid options to try, necessarily, and I would say like it was a 20% like difference in how effective they are, probably not even worth that much arguing about it, would only really be worth arguing about it. One was like double the effectiveness rate of another and I haven't really seen a lot of counter arguments. I haven't seen a lot of guys having a lot of success With stuff that I don't personally do an incorporate and like would refuse to unless it's like super like you know, manipulative and lying or whatever.

Speaker 2:

Fine, yeah, that's just not in my ethical, personal ethical boundaries to use Like a lot of the stuff that is I'm already using and I will be open to hearing and testing it and like I'm all as I personally, even though I'm at a level of like experience and been doing dating for several years, I'm ever been on monogamous. I'm kind of always single to some degree. I always always looking for dates. I'm always over the testing and trying new things. I'm not wedded to any old methods, any old Messaging templates or how I structure my dates or you know that stuff, always open to try new things. That is a good mindset I think everyone should have.

Speaker 2:

As Alex on Moji said, there are no rules. Don't set yourself super hard rules. Be more flexible. Build yourself your stoicism. Build like your experience with women. Those will be like the two hand be able to handle the chaos of dating and then build your actual, like lived experience dating women. Those are the two things I would focus on over everything at the same time. Be flexible in your approach. Be open to trying new things. Don't be superstitious. Don't believe that the gods what is determining whether you get laid or not. It's you and how you navigate this chaotic world. I hope you guys have enjoyed this video. I recommend you go read Andy's article Peace out next time hello again.

Speaker 1:

It's your favorite or second favorite, ginger, depending on which one of us you like, me or cam. Just reminding you that I have the 18 weeks coaching deal right now. So 18 weeks instead of the usual 12. If you pay in full in the next 12 days.

Speaker 1:

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