Are you moving the goalposts? (Self-reflection, mindfulness & gratitude)

Self-reflection, mindfulness and gratitude, how to not move the goalposts. As I work on my goals and as I go through life in general, I like to take time to reflect, be grateful, celebrate my wins and be present in the moment. Why so I actually enjoy this process. One of my coaches said it best you don't have to suffer to reach your goals, and also so that I don't move the goalposts. Moving the goalposts is the tendency that humans have, where we say I will be happy when I achieve this next goal. We achieve that goal, but then we don't take the time to properly celebrate it or feel any gratitude. We end up feeling empty or like we're missing something. So we say, hmm, maybe this goal wasn't enough, maybe I need to achieve more, maybe the next goal is the goal that will make me happy. It's almost like we scored a goal and then we just moved the goalposts back, saying that goal didn't count, hence moving the goalposts. Some people go their entire lives like this, constantly chasing the next big milestone, but perpetually dissatisfied, never really feeling good enough, never feeling like they have enough, never feeling like they are enough. This can lead to a feeling of emptiness and, in some cases, full blown depression. I've seen it in a few people I've coached who eventually start to feel a little burnt out with their goals. A feeling of apathy develops and they start to feel like what's the point? I'm never happy anyway, even when I achieve big things. In contrast, celebrating your wins and practicing gratitude fills us with a sense of joy, purpose, connectedness with others and connectedness with the universe or God or whatever higher power you resonate with, even if that's just life itself. Celebrating your wins and feeling gratitude makes this entire journey fun. It makes it worth it. It allows us to have fun the entire time that we're working on our goals. Rather than delaying our happiness until I reach my goals, I like to celebrate everything big wins, small wins and celebrate every single day of this journey.

I do this in many ways. I express gratitude daily, multiple times a day really it's hundreds of times a day to my family, my friends, to those who support me, to you, my audience, to my clients, to women that I date and sleep with, to the universe for giving me this wonderful playground to explore. I take time to reflect on how far I have come, to look back on the past with a smile on my face and gratitude for everyone who has helped me get here. I do this every day, but I also do this every single week. I do accountability check-ins with my accountability partners, one of whom is my girlfriend, imogen, but I have a few others and then also every few months, I will take the time to reflect, to look back on the past, to feel an extra strong sense of gratitude, and then I do this once a year as well. I will do a review of the year. I will look at everything that I achieve, everything I'm grateful for, everything my friends and my girlfriend Imogen achieved, and I'll look back with a sense of gratitude, love and joy Each day. At the end of the day, I also reflect on what I achieve that day. So every night I will say to myself and to Imogen, my girlfriend today was a success because and then I will list out the things that I'm grateful for, maybe the things that I achieved, maybe the things that other people helped me with, maybe some realizations I had, maybe some progress that I made, and I'll just feel that sense of gratitude and warmth and happiness. I also connect with others by sharing my journey with them, as well as asking about and sharing in their journeys and their goals and then going one step further with that and helping them with their goals and their journey. I celebrate my wins with my friends, my family and my audience, and I share my struggles too, and ask for help when I feel like I need it. I also like to take at least one day off per week to reflect and recharge my batteries. This gives me a chance to be grateful for all that I have in my life, all that I've done, and I give myself a little pat on the back if I need it. Sometimes it helps me recharge and regroup, ready for the next round of going after my big, beautiful goals. I like to spend part of this day off celebrating my wins as well, and the wins of my main accountability partner, who, in this case, is my girlfriend, imogen.

I recommend at least one day off every single week. You can take more if you want it, but at least one is my recommendation. I've done this every week for the last six years or so and it took me a little while to be okay with taking days off. It was a habit that I had to build. At first it was a little bit uncomfortable. I didn't want to take time off. I was convinced that if I just went 24, 7, 7 days a week all out on my goals, that I would make more progress. But what I found is when I took a day off every single week, I actually made significantly more progress because I had a chance to recharge my batteries, to be grateful, to reset and regroup ready for the next week, and I very much look forward to my days off. They're probably my favorite days of the week.

I also use accountability partners and weekly accountability check-ins Partners for how to find an accountability partner. You can obviously speak to your friends. You can reach out to support groups. You can go on to forums with people that have the same or similar goals as you. Obviously, my coaching program part of the coaching program is that we give lifelong memberships to our accountability group so that we can hook you up with an accountability partner and you'll have someone for the rest of your life. You can also look on BumbleBFF, which is the Bumble Friends section. We can find some friends, find some people that are looking for or working on the same goals as you. You can go to meetupcom and meet people through that. As I said, my coaching program will automatically set you up with a partner if you were to join that. I have personally used Imi, my girlfriend, as my main accountability partner for the last five years.

If you do get an accountability partner and you do a weekly check-in with each other to make sure that you're both on track to see what you're both doing, here are some questions that I like to ask. You can obviously ask any questions that you want, but these are the ones that I especially recommend. Are we both on track with our goals and progress? If not, what do we want to change? What do we want to improve? What tweaks do we want to make? What were our successes this week? And then obviously celebrate those together, feel good about them. How would we like to make next week 1% even better than the last week? In other words, how can we make a little bit more progress? How can we do a little bit more? How can we be a little bit more? And my favorite one, what are we both grateful for? And take the time to really feel that gratitude. Don't just race through this. Take your time, really feel that gratitude, sharing that with your partner. I also like to do annual reviews with Imogen, which is a yearly look back at what we achieved that year, what we're grateful for, what we want to work on in the coming year, and we feel really good when we do that. We really take the time to feel that gratitude, to really internalize it, and then we reset and get excited about the upcoming year.

Sometimes, when you do these check-ins, you might feel like I didn't really achieve anything today or this week or this month, or maybe this is too small to celebrate. That's very common. A lot of people feel like that. So here's what I do if I ever feel like that on a certain day or week, start by humbling yourself. Remember that not every day needs to be a massive victory. As long as you're taking one tiny little baby step forward, you are making progress Progress, not perfection.

If you're struggling to celebrate, you can tell other people, and then other people can help you celebrate. You can literally say I'm really struggling to feel like I did anything today or this week, or I'm struggling to give myself any credit, or I feel like I haven't done anything, and then other people can jump in and say, okay, let's list out or brainstorm some of the things that you have done and maybe I can help you give credit. This is obviously one of the benefits of my coaching program Everybody celebrates for you, especially when you struggle to really give yourself credit. There have been a lot of times when somebody in the group says I feel like I didn't do anything today and we will say, okay, brainstorm and write out what you did do today. I know you feel like you didn't do anything, but try writing it all out. Just step by step, tell us what you did today. And then, every time we do this, the person will write everything out and say do you know what Actually I did do a little bit today. I really struggled to give myself credit or to recognize that, but telling you guys now has shown me that. So being accountable to other people and asking other people to help you figure out what it is that you achieved that I can really help with this.

You can also look back at the past. Are you happier now? Would you rather go back to the past and forget everything that you've learned or that you've achieved? If the answer to that question is no I don't wanna forget all of the lessons that I've learned then congratulations, you're making progress. And if, after you do everything I've listed here, you still don't feel like you're making progress, that's okay. Just change something, tweak something and then keep moving forward. You can also, in this moment, reach out to other people and ask them to help you make that progress and feel better. Gratitude can be absolutely life changing.

As I said, I express gratitude multiple times a day, hundreds of times a day, to absolutely everybody, even random people that I meet in public. Gratitude and connecting to others makes this whole journey worth it. What good is achieving goals if I can't appreciate those goals and my life fully? Gratitude also fires me up and makes me wanna achieve even more. It helps me take more action. When I'm feeling grateful, when I'm feeling loving, action becomes effortless. I get 100 times more done with 100 times less effort and I have 100 times more fun doing it. Gratitude just feels good.

I found other people also react amazingly to my gratitude when I express it to them and they wanna help me even more. Obviously, just being around a grateful person feels good. I also pour a lot of love and effort and time into helping others as well, giving back for all that other people have given me. Once I started really expressing gratitude on a daily basis and giving back to others and lifting them up, I noticed that I had more friends, deeper friendships, more sex, deeper sex, more clients and better relationships overall, and even strangers were much kinder to me. The more I walk around with gratitude and love in my heart, the more that is reflected back to me. Express gratitude to others and they'll reflect that back to you in the form of love and support. Help others, be kind to others, aim to always be as loving as you can be, and it will come back to you. The universe is a mirror.

I am grateful to life for giving me the opportunity to improve myself. I am grateful for this body that I inhabit and this mind I get to explore. I am grateful for all that have helped me get here. I'm grateful for everyone who ever criticized or insulted me for helping me grow a thicker skin and transcend my own vanity and my own ego. I'm grateful for everyone who believed in me, and I'm equally grateful for everybody who didn't. I'm grateful to my friends and my family for loving me and for my girlfriend, imi, for being here for all of these years, and I'm very grateful to you. I'm grateful to you helping me pay the bills by buying this course. I'm grateful for you improving your life. You inspire me. I'm grateful you care about yourself and your life enough to build towards the things that you want and the life you want. That makes me smile. I'm grateful that you lift others up and inspire them as well. I'm grateful that you're here walking this journey with me. Be grateful for the past. It brought you to this moment. Enjoy the present. It's a precious gift. Get excited about the future. You're gonna make it.

That was a free chapter from my new video course, play to Win how I Built a Winner's Mindset, so I hope you found that helpful. If you would like to grab the full video course, the link is in the description below. You can pay whatever you can afford, even if that's literally just $1. I also have $200 coaching calls. If you wanna sit down with me one-on-one, we'll sit down for an hour or so, go over any problems that you might be having, any struggles, what you want, come up with a plan of action, pick my brain and ask me any questions that you might have, whatever you want. However, you wanna use that time Link is in the description below to that and we have a hardcore coaching program Change your Life 12 Weeks All In Plus Lifelong Access to Our Accountability Members Only. Group Link is down below. As always, ladies and gentlemen, go out there, crush those goals and have a bloody good time doing it.