Even 'Beta Males' Have Sex

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, andy, here I went from depressed and suicidal to living a life of abundance and joy. If I can do it, you sure as hell can too. So in my coaching program a guy posted something recently which was quite interesting. So he met up with this woman, they had sex, they had an amazing time and he wrote this post to all of us and he said you know, I used to buy into this fantasy of this idea that only Chad's or alpha males, you know, like super masculine, very attractive men only Chad's get to fuck. And I never really had the confidence to just be direct with women. And now, after screening properly and you know for context, he's someone that's embraced honesty and just saying what he wants and then finding the women that want the same thing. So he says now, after screening properly, it's only taken a week and a half of me being in this new city to have a casual but mutually really fun time with a cool girl. It's helped show me that a lot of these red pill stories that I used to have can sometimes seem really convincing, but they're ultimately just a story. And yeah, that's such a common story, isn't it?

Speaker 1: 1:10

A lot of people have this idea that you know only hot guys get laid, or you know nice guys can never get laid, or you have to be an alpha male to get laid. You know there's that saying of like nice guys finish last. Or you know assholes get the girl. There's all these sort of ideas and, as I said to this client, I said you know, like Chad's fuck, like Chad's get laid. So the nice guys soda quote, beta males, if you want to use that term soda. Obese guys, soda skinny guys, soda, short guys, soda, tall guys, soda, so called losers, soda simps. Lots of people have sex, lots of people fuck and there's no deserving to fuck. There is no concept of this person deserves to have sex, and I don't. There's just asking plenty of people if they want to have sex with you and then improving yourself along the way so that more people say yes to that question, more people have more sex with you. In other words, all of this is me essentially saying you really don't have to be perfect to have sex and get laid, and the story of thinking that you do, as in the story of thinking, like all, women only go for assholes, or women only fuck Chad's, or women only go for alpha males. That story just keeps you feeling hopeless. It keeps you from taking action and actually putting yourself out there and trying.

Speaker 1: 2:29

And I say this gently when I have someone that sort of might be feeling some of that hopelessness and that feeling of like no woman would be interested in me, I say to them gently why don't you go out and ask 500 women If they would like to go on a date with you? Do you not think, if you asked 500 women, that at least one of them will go on a date with you? And I'll tell you honestly, way more than one of them out of 500 will go on a date with you. Depending on where you're at, depending on your state of mind, depending on your self love, depending on your fitness, depending on your looks and all of that you probably only have to talk to. For some of you it's got. It's only like talk to 20 women. For some of you it might be talk to 100 or 200 women. So go and talk to a couple of hundred women and find out what happens.

Speaker 1: 3:15

But we often get caught up, or people often get caught up in these stories and believing them of. You know, women will only go for an alpha male that only go for a Chad. They'll only go for the hottest asshole guys and we never actually go out and check. You know again, like, go out and ask 500 women. You know, in the similar stories to this of like Women will only date tall guys, they're not interested in me. Because I'm sure, and it's like, have you asked a thousand women if they would like to grab coffee with you? Go and ask a thousand women and then come back and let me know what's happened. And you go and ask I don't know some amount of women, 50 women, 100 women. You go on a date, you have a great time, you go. Holy shit, I didn't need to be this tall, absolute perfection of a human being. I just had to be me and go out and ask a few people.

Speaker 1: 4:08

Same thing applies to all. This applies to everything in life. Really, like you don't have to be perfect To get laid. You don't have to be perfect to make friends. You don't have to be perfect to make money. If we're talking about something like losing weight, you don't have to be perfect and never, ever have a cheat meal and never fail.

Speaker 1: 4:26

No, like you don't have to be perfect. You don't have to be perfect when giving up your vices and addictions. That's when I see a lot right people put this pressure on themselves and like, okay, I'm giving up. I don't know pornography, and they'll beat themselves up if they ever have a relapse. And it's like who said you had to be perfect in giving up your vice or your addiction? It's just a story that you told yourself or that you believed somewhere along the way, just like the story of I have to be a perfect man in order to have any woman be interested in me. It's just a story that you believed somewhere along the way, but you never actually went out and checked. And so all of this is to say it's okay if you have some stumbles with all of this self improvement stuff. It's okay if sometimes you feel like you're taking a backward step. This is why my one of my biggest philosophies is give yourself permission to suck. It's why I say it so often right, like Everything I've ever achieved up until this point, I was not perfect. I didn't know what I was doing. I stumbled a million times. I had a million doubts, a million moments where I've really had no idea what the hell I was doing.

Speaker 1: 5:33

There is a podcast on this platform Called something. Like I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, I'm just winging it. You can go and listen to that. I literally talk about the fact that, like I don't know what I'm doing, I'm just waking up each day and doing my best on that day and that's all I'm doing. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm figuring it out, just like all of you, and I have a YouTube video where I say basically the same thing. It's called let the record show that I was never confident, and I talk about her confidence, or.

Speaker 1: 6:04

You know, this alpha male bravado or just being perfect, is kind of overrated. If you happen to be super confident, that's amazing. If confidence is something that's important to you and you want to improve it, beautiful, go for that. But I haven't always been confident. Confidence to me something that I don't even worry about. Confidence is a feeling and that's not my business. My business is to take action every day, almost days. I do take action every day, but don't put pressure on yourself if you don't take action every day. It took me Quite a few years to get to a point where I could take action every day. But Confidence is not my business. It's got nothing to do with me. It's just a feeling, just like anger or sadness. That's not my business. Now I'm very interested in it.

Speaker 1: 6:47

When I'm feeling those feelings, and if I'm ever feeling a lack of confidence, that's interesting I dive deep and I Ask myself what I can do to improve it and all of that. But I don't get upset if I'm not confident, right, I don't make it my business to always be confident. No, that's got nothing to do with me. That's got nothing to do with me. And so I just wake up every day and I do my best and that's all I focus on. And that's what's gotten me to this point and certainly what's brought me a lot of peace and happiness. And so all of that lack of confidence, all of those moments where I didn't know what the hell I was doing which is pretty much most of the time, by the way All of that, and yet I still made it to this point. And wherever I go for the rest of my life, you know I'll make it to that point, doing the same thing, not knowing what I'm doing, just giving myself permission to suck, being okay with having some doubts and, you know, stumbling along the way and not being captain, perfect and just being me.

Speaker 1: 7:37

You know I say Perfection is overrated. Perfection can be a barrier to actually getting started. It can be a barrier to taking action. You know how many guys believe the story of Only Chad's or only alpha males go and get laid and then they don't take any action Because they believe it's hopeless. They believe you know what's the point.

Speaker 1: 7:58

Women are out there having sex with the hottest guys. Why would they spend time with me? And so it's a form of procrastination, it's a form of avoidance, because it it's protective. It saves you from having to go out and put the effort in or put the work in. It's quite protective. And so I say, throw yourself in there and suck. You're allowed to suck big time. Nothing bad happens if you suck. Nothing bad happens if a woman, or if you're a woman listening, if a guy says to you hey, I'm not interested. Literally nothing bad happens. They just don't want to spend time with you. That's it. It's okay if you stumble a million times. It's okay if you don't know what the hell you're doing. Jump in there, give yourself permission to suck, learn a ton, keep going, don't quit all of that stuff. You'll eventually make it.

Speaker 1: 8:40

And what's helped me the most, rather than thinking I need to be some Chad or some alpha male, is I just focus on being me and in each moment I just gradually make progress towards being the best me that I can be. And I learned this lesson very early on, when I first started working on my sex life and I wanted to do what my mentor, chris from good looking loser, had done. He was this attractive, tall, super, you know, amazing, super cool, muscle bound, good looking guy and I couldn't compete with that. I had no friends. I wasn't cool. I was kind of skinny, fat, had zero muscle. I didn't have anything cool about me.

Speaker 1: 9:19

And I would look at him and be like, okay, I can't compete with that, and like there's no world in which I can be like that, at least not in the next couple of years. If I want to be like that, my God, I might take a cut. This guy's been going to the gym for like his entire life, since he was like 13 or something, and he's done steroids for most of his life and he's very open about that. I can't compete with that. I can't be that. So what if I just be the best version of me? What if I just work on improving myself a little bit and talk to some more women and lose a little bit of weight and maybe start going to the gym and just put myself out there and try to be social and that's all I've ever really done, rather than saying I have to be this perfect alpha male Chad, which I'm clearly not. I don't ever want to be, it's not something that I even think about.

Speaker 1: 10:09

But I understand that a lot of you, or a lot of people, do think in those terms. You know I'm not good enough to meet women, or I'm not good enough to make money, or here's one that I hear a lot when people are like I really want to start a business, andy, and I want to do coaching like you have, but you know I could never help people. It's like do you think I could help people at the start of my content? Fuck, no. I didn't have a single reader. Nobody was reading my blog when I posted my first article. Who the hell would read it? Nobody knew I existed. So I started literally at the ground floor. I didn't know how to help people.

Speaker 1: 10:44

I certainly didn't know how to coach people, and some of my oldest, earliest clients will attest to that. The best example is Ed, who's, funnily enough, now a coach in my coaching program alongside myself and the others. But he was one of my first clients and sometimes he and I will joke. You know, this is like three years ago. When he first signed up for coaching, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. And so he and I right now will joke sometimes and we'll be like, hey, remember when I first coached you? And he's like, yeah, I remember. And I was like I'll say like you know, remember how bad I was at it and I was doing my best and you were doing your best, but I really didn't know what the fuck I was doing, did I? And he's like, no, you didn't. And I say, but what does it matter? I was charging like $10 or $20 an hour or something Like what the fuck did it matter if I was good or bad? So I've just always focused on being the best me and gradually improving at being a better version of me. So, yeah, if you'd like more help with this, obviously I tell you what.

Speaker 1: 11:41

If these topics interest you, you might want to grab my video course called Play to Win how I Built a Winner's Mindset. I'll leave a link in the description below to that. It covers these sort of topics and way more. You can pay whatever you would like to pay for that, even if that's just $1. So grab that.

Speaker 1: 11:57

If you want more help, obviously I have coaching. I have two ways of getting in touch with me for coaching. We can sit down for a once off one-on-one coaching. Call you and I. Those are $200. Or you can join our coaching program. Get a lot of love, a lot of pushing, a lot of motivation, a lot of support, a lot of advice from me and the other coaches, and you get to stay in our accountability program or accountability group for the rest of your life.

Speaker 1: 12:20

So I will leave a link in the description below to all of that good stuff and, as always, go out there, crush those goals and don't worry about being perfect. Don't worry about being a chad. If you want to be that because you think that would be fun, then amazing, like work towards that, of course. But don't think that you need to be a chad Like most of my clients.

Speaker 1: 12:42

If you go on my YouTube channel and look at all of my clients, the vast majority of them are not what you would call a chad or a fucking alpha male or something. No, they're just like normal human beings. Like it's rare that I work with a guy that's a genuine chad, like ridiculously attractive and they have been plenty of them but like that's like 10 or 20% of the clients that I work with it's probably like 10% and then 90% of them are just normal fucking dudes. Like they're just an average person, just like I was at the start. So if you're an average person, then embrace that fucking averageness and just try and be a little bit more every single day. You know progress, not perfection.