Kill Your Inner Loser / Andy Wells

"I Have No Expectations, Only Curiousity."

November 13, 2023 Andy Wells
Kill Your Inner Loser / Andy Wells
"I Have No Expectations, Only Curiousity."
Show Notes Transcript

The wisest thing my friend ever told me.

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Speaker 1:

Ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls and others. And here I went from depressed and suicidal to living a life of abundance and joy. If I can do it, you sure as hell can too. So a good friend of mine, my best friend, he and I have been on this spiritual journey to, I guess, remove our ego, remove this like desperate need for us to control everything and have everything go our own way. In other words, we've both been, over the last couple of years, moving towards a place of much more peace and much more just being chill and being open to whatever life hands us, you know, instead of trying to control and force everything. And one thing that he's been letting go off is his desperate need to get laid. He used to have this very strong, desperate need to get laid, which I think most, or a lot of guys do, a lot of people do, and he's been slowly letting go of that. And he went out on this date he met some girl at a festival actually, and over the course of an entire weekend they kind of got to know each other, spent a lot of time together and he invited her back to his place, you know, a week later and they cooked dinner together and they were about to start making out and they kissed a little bit and then she said I just don't know if I can go all the way with you. In other words, I don't know if I can do this. And he replied I have no expectations, only curiosity. They ended up falling around for a couple of hours and they kind of both just went with the flow and a couple of times she was a little nervous and she wanted to slow down and he just repeated to her I don't have any expectations, only curiosity. They ended up having sex and, you know, going further and having just a wonderful, amazing time. And when he told me this story I loved that quote. I have no expectations, only curiosity. So much that I ended up printing it out and framing it and it has sat in my apartment for the last year or so. It's something that's very meaningful to me and I look at it quite a lot. I find myself, you know, gazing at it whenever I'm wishing that things would go a certain way, or wishing that another client would sign up and give me money, or wishing Imogen would do something I want, or wishing someone else would do something I want, or expecting things to go a certain way, I will look at that quote and remind myself of what my friends said. I have no expectations, only curiosity. And this is such a beautiful mindset to embrace in life in general, but especially with dating. When you're if you're a guy and you're hitting on women have no expectations, just curiosity. When you see a woman, don't have any expectations of how it should go or what she should say, or what the conversation should be like, or what you should do. You know, let go of those expectations of her and of yourself and everything, and just be curious. Go over there and be curious about what she might be like, about how the conversation might go, about what you might be like during that conversation. Complete curiosity, no expectations, no pressure. If you're on a date and you want to invite her back to your place but you're nervous, rather than having expectations of what you want to happen, just have complete curiosity. Take a step back, take a deep breath and say I'll ask her to come back to mine and then I'm curious what happens after that. I'm curious if she says yes. I'm curious if she says no, I'm just curious. I want to see what happens Then if you end up going back to your place and you're about to have sex or about to start making out. Rather than worrying about what if she doesn't want to go all the way? What if she stops me? What if she wants to slow down? What if she's not comfortable, have curiosity and just see what happens. And if you get halfway in and one or both of you are uncomfortable, that's beautiful. That'll just be an experience and you can be open to it. This mindset of I have no expectations, only curiosity is such a wonderful way to go through life because now you're open to all experiences, you can roll with the punches a lot better. You don't get bothered by people saying no to you or people doing something that you weren't expecting, or life throwing a spanner in the works, so to speak. If you have no expectations, you can never be disappointed. There was a quote that I said that came into my head today on the group coaching call that I was with my clients. I said if you always expect reality, then you can never be disappointed. In other words, expect reality to go. However reality wants to go. Expect people to do whatever people want to do. Expect things to just go the way that they go. And if you don't have any expectations of what should happen or what people should say or how you yourself should be. There is no disappointment, there's just curiosity, openness and, if anything, a little bit of laughter. Sometimes, when life does throw you a spanner in the works or you get all the way into the bedroom and a woman does say, hey, I don't want to go all the way, that's kind of funny because it wasn't expected. It's like ha, look at what life just threw me. And now I'm able to handle it because I didn't have any expectations. I wasn't trying to force it, I wasn't trying to control it, I was just open to whatever ended up happening. As always, ladies and gentlemen, go out there, crush those goals. And if you would like a little more help with this or anything else, I have two coaching options. You can either sit down with me for a one-on-one coaching call, a once-off coaching call, or you can join our big hardcore coaching program where we'll get in there, change your life, set you up for success for the rest of your life and let you be part of our beautiful, amazing accountability group for the rest of eternity, until you die, or the group shuts down. So we'd love to have you Links in the description below. To both of those. Have a wonderful, amazing, blessed, charmed day.