Kill Your Inner Loser / Andy Wells

OUTCOME INDEPENDENCE: My Goal is For You to Not Need Me

November 14, 2023 Andy Wells
Kill Your Inner Loser / Andy Wells
OUTCOME INDEPENDENCE: My Goal is For You to Not Need Me
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

The question that remains when you have true abundance mentality is: "What do I want?"

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Speaker 1:

Hello you fabulous mofos and farfos. And if you're wondering what a farfos is, well, you can figure out what a mofo is and a farfos is the male equivalent of that. And here I went from depressed and suicidal to living a life of abundance and joy. If I can do it, you sure as hell can too. So I had a cool idea for a bunch of new podcasts that I'm going to do, and I'll probably do the same sort of or something similar on YouTube. I have in my notebook right now 740 half written podcast and video ideas. I've always found it incredibly easy to come up with new ideas. I mean, I don't even come up with them, they just sort of appear in my head. You know, anyone who is creative will tell you that you don't really think of the idea, they just sort of come to you from inspiration. So I've got a lot of ideas and one thing that I won't say struggle with, because it's not a struggle, but I guess the one thing that I would like to do is start working through a lot of the old ideas that I wrote many years ago that I've never actually sat down and done a podcast or a video on. So for the next, however long I feel like it. Maybe the next couple of months I might have a bit of fun going through some of these old ideas and sort of seeing where my mindset is that now compared to when I wrote it, seeing if we can tease out something interesting, something useful, something beautiful out of some of these old ideas and any ideas that I really hate I'm going to delete, and my mission is to try and get through. I don't think I'll clear through the entire list because I'm constantly adding new ideas. There's a reason. There's like 700 and something ideas, but I want to clear out a bunch of the old ones and make way for the new. So today we're going to talk about one of the goals that I have as a coach and really just as a content creator, like doing these podcasts and doing my YouTube videos and my articles. One of my biggest goals is to get you to realize that you don't really need me, and I say that in a lot of my content and I very much have that in my coaching program. My mission is and this comes from Dan Henry, one of my favorite people, you know when it comes to entrepreneurial ship that's a hard word to say and money and things like that. Dan Henry is just an absolute legend in that area and his philosophy was I teach you what to think. Sorry, I don't teach you what to think. I teach you how to think. In other words, he was very big on teaching people philosophies and teaching people how to find the answers inside themselves, rather than sort of building almost like a cult of personality where you feel like you need that content creator or you need that coach, and that's my mission too, and you can listen to me for as long as you would like to listen to me or don't listen to me. That's cool too, like you're welcome to stay here forever. But one of my goals is to get you to a point, or to get you to realize the truth, which is you don't need me. You have the answers inside yourself. Take the answers to all of your problems, all of your questions. They're inside you. It's just that you haven't really checked. Most people haven't checked. I never really checked in the past. I didn't think I had the answers. I thought I needed an expert. I thought I needed someone further ahead than me. I believed the lie that other people were better than me and that they could tell me what to do and then I would figure it all out, or they would help me figure it out. But at some point other people you know good looking loser was very instrumental in this, like Bob Jones and people like that they helped me realize, oh, like I don't have to be, I don't have to have all of the information to take action, I don't need to go and have an expert tell me what to do. I'm allowed to just right now start and I'll figure it out as I go and I'll stumble a little bit. I'll take two steps forward, one step back, but I'll eventually figure it all out by myself, like I am capable. In other words, I'm okay as I am and I'm just going to work on being a little bit better. And so that's very much the message that I'm getting across in my content. It's a big intention of mine is to get you guys and girls to realize oh, we don't need this bald guy talking into a microphone. Now, I might find, you know, you might find it useful to listen to me, but you don't need me. In other words, I don't want you to think, and you can think whatever you want, but I don't want people to think that they need me or that my information and what's in my head and what's in my brain is mandatory for you to make it, because it's really not like you'll be fine with me and you'll be fine without me. I also are. A big philosophy of mine, a big intention of mine is not to have you pick sides, and a lot of people want to, don't they? A lot of people want to say you know, I get this question from time to time which content creator is right? And he says this thing. But then this other guy says this other thing which person is correct? And it's not about sides, it's not about right versus wrong. That guy over there is saying what is work for him and what he likes to do. I'm saying what I like to do and what's work for me. Both people are correct, the both saying they lived experience. They're saying their opinion. They're saying what they like to do. The both simultaneously correct. All they might both simultaneously be not correct for you. Your life might involve you doing something that neither of those people you know neither myself or the other person said to do, and that's why I never really give. I try my hardest not to give prescriptions, as in I don't tell you what to do, you know. I don't tell you to do this or do that. I try and teach you how to think so you can answer that question for yourself. It's why the question that I start with, especially with coaching clients. But in general, if someone comes to me for advice, the first question to ask them is what do you want? And people ask me all the time, hey, what's the right thing to do? What should I do? And every single time my answer is the same what would you like to do? What do you want to do? What sounds like a good idea to you? And if you're really stuck on answering that question, you can kind of I can always tease the answer out by. You know, you can ask yourself things like what would be a cool thing to have. So if you're sitting there saying, you know, I don't know what to do. Should I do this or should I do that, you can kind of think what would be cool to have. You know, what do I ultimately want? What am I trying to get? What would be fun? What kind of person do I want to be? What would be cool? You know, it'd be really cool to have, I don't know, an extra one thousand dollars a month. That'd be really cool. I'd like that. That'd be cool. Okay, cool, that's what you want. How do you want to do it? Well, I don't really know how I'm going to earn that extra thousand dollars. Okay, what would be cool? What would be a cool way to earn a thousand dollars? And you can go. Well, I guess I've always wanted to help other people. Okay, cool. So, to be cool, for you to help other people and for that to make you a thousand dollars a month cool, that sounds really cool. Let's figure out how to make that happen. So you can start with these questions and I have these different prompts or these different cues of how I try and tease the answers out of you, but the answers are inside you. All I'm really doing is getting you I'm holding up a mirror and getting you to sort of look inside yourself and figure out what you want, because the vast majority of society, the vast majority of content creators and gurus and experts they're very useful and they're very helpful, but the vast majority of them will tell you what to think. They'll tell you this is the right thing, this is wrong. Do this, do that. You should do this, you shouldn't do this. They'll use force though, tell you what's right and wrong. They might guilt trip you a little bit like you're a pussy if you don't do this and at the end of the day, there their information and all of the stuff that they're giving is very helpful and it's coming from a very beautiful place, but it disempowers you, it doesn't get. It's not that it disempowers you, but it doesn't fully empower you because at the end of the day you might get an answer to the question you have right now, but then the next time a different question comes up. Now you have to go back to that same person and you have to try and ask for the next answer. You have to hope that they've done content or written a book or whatever about this particular topic, because you don't really know how to think for yourself, because that wasn't taught to you and it's definitely not taught in school, is it? School doesn't teach you how to think. School just teaches you to wrote learn, which is Another word for like copy paste and just recite, just memorize this and then say it back to me. I mean, that's, that's hilarious, teachers and you, they're doing a fantastic fucking job. But you know, teacher, if you want me to, just if you want me to just say the answer back to you, don't you already know the answer? Why am I just saying the same answer back to you? I'm not transforming it in any way. I'm not changing the answer. You want me to mimic the answer back to you as closely as possible, and if I mimic it person perfectly, then you'll give me a pat on the back and I'll get an A plus. That's literally being a parent. And again, the education system is doing its best. I think for the most part it does a pretty decent job, but there is a lot of room for improvement there. There's a lot of room for teaching you how to think. I guess I can then go a little further and say, maybe it's a beautiful thing that the education system doesn't teach you how to think, because then you come out of that, you go all right. I really didn't like that. I want to go and find somewhere that will help me learn how to think, and that's kind of the mission of my content. It's it's why I resonate so much with people like Caleb Jones, who is, at the end of the day, a libertarian. I resonate really, really, really strongly with people like Byron Katie who's entire thing, by the way, literally everything she does is to get you to look inside yourself for the answer. She doesn't tell you that what you're thinking or what you're saying is bad or wrong, or she doesn't like get you to just reframe things. She's not like, hey, that's wrong, let's reframe it. She says no, what do you think? The answer is what do you want to do? How do you feel when you believe that? Can you think of a less stressful way to frame things? Can you think of a more positive, helpful way to frame things? How do you feel now that you've done that? She very much gets you to the entire time. Look inside yourself. And that's my mission with my Content, my mission with my coaching, definitely with my coaching. That's like what we do. When people sign up, I literally say like what do you want? What can I do for you? There's even a video. So when people sign up for coaching, there's a like we have a list of videos and books and stuff like that that are just for the coaching clients to like, walk them through the coaching program, to help facilitate their journey to, you know, whatever goal that might be that they have, and one of the videos that we have is I literally talk about. Like my goal in the coaching Is for, at the end of it, for you to not feel like you need me. And you know, if you still feel like you need me, then maybe I didn't why did my best, but Maybe there's a little bit more I can do for next time to help people realize that they don't need me and all of you listening right now you don't need me. Like I might be useful to you. You might enjoy listening to my voice. You might enjoy my philosophies. I might. It might be nice for you to feel reassured by me when I tell you that you're gonna make it, that you can do it, that I did it you sure as hell can do. You know I was depressed and suicidal and now I'm living a life of beauty and abundance and joy and happiness and peace, and it's amazing. I'm so grateful. Like that might make you feel amazing, and so, by all means, I keep listening if you want to, and if you don't want to, that's beautiful too. But you don't need me. Don't tell yourself the lie that you'd be fucked without me. Don't tell yourself the lie that you won't be able to go on without me, or that you'll be hopeless without me, or that you'll never make it without me. No, that's absolutely not true, and this applies to relationships too. I think one of the biggest stories or lies that people tell themselves is that they need their partner. You know, I'd be lost without you. It's like my God man, like what a story that is. Imagine the pressure that you put on your partner when you tell yourself, and sometimes even tell them, that you're going to be fucked without them. What pressure, what a burden that is for them. That's basically saying to them you can never leave me. You're never allowed to have a change of heart. You're never allowed to have a moment where you're in a bad mood and you can't be there for me. You're never allowed to have a moment of selfishness. You're never allowed to have a moment where you just look after your own needs, because I have needs and I'm going to put them on you and don't you dare ever consider like leaving. Oh my God, I'd fall apart. You know, it's like this constant guilt or this baggage that's on the other person and on yourself. More than anything, you're putting that baggage on yourself. And so, again, my mission with my content and my coaching is to empower all of you and for you not to put that baggage on yourself. Really, you know, I, I it's funny, it's kind of related Recently I did a live stream on my YouTube channel, which every now and then I do live stream like Q&A, and people can just ask me any questions and we hang out. You know, sometimes I play video games, sometimes I just sit there and answer people's questions and it's essentially like coaching, like free coaching, and a guy was feeling all of this stress, I guess, from all of the people in the world that he imagined that was suffering and there are people suffering, obviously, but like my point is like he was in his imagination, like imagining all of them and not that they're not suffering. I think you understand what I'm clumsily trying to say there In his mind he was thinking about all of the people that were suffering that's what I meant to say and guys he was stressing about, guys that were suffering because they didn't have the dating life or the sex life that they wanted. And he had this strong feeling or this strong need for me, andy, to fix it, to like to fix all of these guys is suffering. And he phrased it like this he was like these men, all of these men out there that are suffering in the entire world. They need you, andy, like they need you. There's nobody else for them. There's no way they can do it themselves. They don't have the answers inside themselves. They need you. And I just felt the tremendous. The tremendous, immense, you know not burden, because I didn't take it as a burden, but I guess it is a burden for himself. I felt the baggage and the burden that he was carrying around himself, thinking about all of the men in the world that were suffering and all of the pain and sadness in the world, and telling himself the lie that all of these people needed me, like they need me. Some bald cunt just talking into a microphone Like I'm Mother Teresa or something. And even Mother Teresa, by the way, didn't end all of the suffering on earth. The Dalai Lama doesn't end all of the suffering on earth. Jesus didn't end all of the suffering on earth. Krishna didn't end all of the suffering on earth. Buddha didn't end all of the suffering on earth. You know what I mean. Like there isn't usually going to be one person who ends all of the suffering, and if there is, it's probably not going to be Andy fucking Wells. You know, captain, kill your in a loser over here. It might not be me, I'll just go out on a limb and say that. But believing this story that all of these people need me and that they'll be sad or devastated without me, man, what a fucking burden. Hey like, and I could see how much it was making himself. I could see how much he was making himself suffer by believing that lie that all of these people need me. Now, obviously I can help them, but helping you're you know, improving or making feel better, or being there for understanding or loving people is very difficult, is very different from need. The word need implies desperation. It implies that there is no other choice. It implies that you won't be okay without this. That is what the word need is. And I have come to see in my own life that there is not a single need on the planet. I don't have a single. I can't think of a single need. And you might say well, come on, andy, like you need water, do I? What happens if I don't drink water? Well, I would dehydrate and then I will die. That's a choice. I'm allowed to make that choice. People choose to kill themselves all the time. It is a choice. You might not want to make that choice, but I don't lie to myself and say that it's a need, needing to survive. I don't need to survive. What bad thing happens if I die? Well, I die. We're all gonna die at some point, so I just die a little earlier. I gave up my fear of death many years ago, probably sometime in 2020. With all the lockdowns, I was very much. That very much helped me. It was a very beautiful, transcendental experience, or transcendent experience. I was able to give up my fear of death and transcend that because there was so many people that, because I wasn't wearing a mask and because I wasn't buying the deception and the fear that a lot of people bought into that. It was a doomsday scenario and everyone's gonna die and we should all stay inside and we shouldn't live our lives and all of that I wasn't buying in. None of that resonated with me. It just didn't feel loving, it didn't feel true. It didn't feel kind to lock myself in a house for a year or two Because the lockdowns in Australia were quite severe. You could only go outside for one hour a day and you needed permission slips, like paper that you had to carry around and police would interrogate you and all of that. None of that really felt kind, so I didn't resonate with it. And in that process I was yelled at and abused by quite a lot of people and so was Imogen, and there were many times where I had interactions with police and all sorts of stuff and I was very much. It was a beautiful experience because I was able to move past my fear of death. I was able to embrace it. I was literally able to say you know, I might die. Through this process I mean, I thought that about COVID too. Well, I didn't. I did all the research on COVID and I was like there's a 0% chance I die from COVID. I'm healthy and I'm not 80, so I'm not gonna die of COVID. And but going through that period while watching everybody else freak out about death and run away from their fear of death which was why everybody hid themselves inside because they were afraid to die I went the opposite way. I was like everyone's afraid of death and I am too, because I'm a human being. But let me embrace this fear of death. What bad thing happens if I die? And I basically spent two years embracing my fear of death, saying what bad thing happens. Everybody's so terrified of death. Essentially, the collective conscience of the entire planet is terrified of death right now and they're all pretending that death isn't a thing, while simultaneously saying, oh my God, like we're so scared of death, don't go outside because you might die. But they're too afraid to actually look death in the face and say what is death? Like they're running away from it, while simultaneously pretending that they're not. So again, I went the opposite way and I embraced it and I was like I am gonna die. I'm just not that special that I don't get to live forever. My ideas at some point will die, even if I was to have kids, which isn't something that I'm interested in. But if I was, at some point I would die and then they would die. Like who even says my genes get to get passed on forever? And I fully embraced that death. I really, really, really wrapped my arms around it and gave it a big hug. If I ever met the Grim Reaper, I'd give him a big hug and I'd say hey, I hope you don't feel bad about what you're doing. I hope you don't feel bad that you're gonna kill me. I think that's a beautiful thing. Captain Grim Reaper, like you know, do what you need to do and I hope you have a beautiful day today. And so, going through this beautiful, transcendental, transcendent I keep mixing those two words up transcendent experience of embracing my death helped me really sort of be okay with anything that might happen in life. You know what I mean Like, and it helped me let go of this idea of needing, like, if I don't even need to be alive, there's nothing else that I need. Like, what else could you need if you're completely okay with dying, if you've accepted and learned to love the concept of death and love that one day you won't be here anymore? There's nothing you need at that point. You don't need water, you don't need food, you don't need love, you don't need affection, you definitely don't need validation, you don't need sex, you don't need money, you don't need anything. And all that you're left with when you let go of the word need and my God, the word need is such a needy word I love that little pun there Need is a needy word. But once you let go of need and neediness, all that you're left with is one simple question, one simple word what do I want? If there are no needs, all that's left is want or desire, I guess you could say or truth. Like you, look into yourself, you look into your own heart, and the way you do this is by saying what do I want? You look inside yourself and if you have no needs, there there's only joy, there's only peace, there's only beauty, there's only love, there's only well. I really like seeing people smile, so I'm going to go outside today and make some people smile. Or I really like money. I think it's a beautiful thing and you can buy some amazing things with it. You can put smiles on other people's faces with it, you can help people with it, you can build things, you can give it to your loved ones and give it to homeless people. Wow, I really love money. I want to make some money. Money's beautiful and there's no need. There's no tarnishing of the money, there's no tarnishing of sex. You know people have so much guilt and shame around sex and this feeling that they're doing something wrong if they have a lot of sex. But if you let go of the need for sex, the need for validation, the need for anything, and just have sex because you want to because it's fun and beautiful. You can really enjoy it for the purity of it. It's like you're a child again and you don't have rules in your head anymore. There's no tarnishing of it, it's just pure and innocent and you're doing it for the love of the thing itself, not because of what you think it will get you or because you think it will protect you from death or it will protect you from rejection, or it will protect you from sadness or whatever. You're just doing it because you love the bloody thing. And so letting go of this word need, especially when it comes to me. None of you need me. None of you need my advice. You don't need the advice of anyone. Other people might help you, but you don't need it. If you're able to let go of that and you can be gentle with that. That took this has taken me a long time. This shit has taken me a really long time. But if you can let go of the need of anyone else's advice or the need to listen to experts or the need to know what to do, you know. That's why I have the saying give yourself permission to suck that let's go of the need. Give yourself permission to suck is part of the way I embraced death, because when we're afraid of sucking, when we're afraid of making a mistake or we're afraid of rejection, really we're afraid of death. We're afraid that this thing will go so badly that we'll end up all alone and sad and then maybe we'll even end up dying, like it's a fear of death. Every fear is a fear of death. If you take it to its logical conclusion, if you play it out to the end, you're afraid or every fear is us afraid of death, afraid there's something bad will happen and we'll be all alone or we'll die. So you can let go of neediness. There's just joy, guys. There really is just nothing but joy left. And, funnily enough, you end up achieving not that you even care anymore, like you care, but anyway I'll say the sentence you end up achieving when you let go of neediness and just embrace what you want, you end up achieving 10,000 times more. You're 10,000 times more successful. You have 10,000 times more sex because you have that abundance, mentality and outcome, independence and I don't give a fuck attitude that everybody seems so desperate to go towards but maybe doesn't have the tools to make it happen, and things like what I'm talking about here a part of the tools of how you make that abundance mentality or that outcome independence really happen. It's by letting go of your fears, letting go of the need, letting go of the lies and the stories that we tell ourselves that we need something. I need this, I need a lot of sex. No, you really don't. I need a lot of money. No, you really don't. I need this, I need that. I need to have a good body. You don't need that stuff. You're allowed to say that you want. I mean, you could say whatever the hell you want, but you know the truth would be you want it, you're very excited about it, you're super passionate about it, you really want this thing. Hey, that's beautiful, isn't that amazing? Look at you expressing your desire. I have found that I actually want things and I am more passionate and excited about things 10,000 times more than I was when I believed that I needed them. Letting go of the need to have something. Funnily enough, just phrase you up and you're less emotional, you're more rational and you're more freed up to actually take more action. You achieve the things 10 times quicker and it's 10 times more fun. It's so much more fun having outcome independence. It is so fun. Life is a beautiful gift. This is the stuff that, like, buddhists, have been talking about since the dawn of time Okay, maybe not that far back, but since the dawn of Buddhism, since Buddha first started talking about this stuff, people have been talking about this concept of non-attachment, which is another way to say outcome independence. It's literally the same concept. It's literally the same thing, just a different word. It's that I don't give a fuck how this goes. I have no expectations, only curiosity. I don't need this to go the way that I want it to go. It's going to go whichever way it does, and I don't mind what the outcome is, because I'll be okay either way. I'll learn to roll with the punches and I'll make adjustments, and every problem has a solution, and I'll figure out what to do and I'll ask for help if I need it, and I'll be okay. I don't need this. And even if I die, that's okay too. If you can get to that level and again, this is a very advanced level some of you will just get these concepts immediately, some people that I've worked with and that I've seen in the audience, some of you already understand these concepts, and some of you might not be there yet, and that's okay. It took me like many, many, many years and you might never get here. By the way, again, you don't need anything from me, you don't even need to understand these concepts, you don't even need to let go of your fear of death. But if you can get some of these concepts, even just start getting them, man, life just frees itself up. I did a video on my YouTube channel today. It won't be released today, actually, it might be by the time you listen to this. It was called Rejection You're Too Old for Me. And this guy had left this comment basically saying he'd had a panic attack after a woman had, you know, he'd hit on her in public and she'd said like no, thank you, like you're a little bit too old for me, and he had like a full-on panic attack because you know he's obviously believing his own stories, that that's a bad thing, that she doesn't want to date someone older, and he felt very rejected and very hurt and all of that. And this guy was tremendously courageous. He just kept going out there and talking to more women. So mad props to this guy. What an absolute legend of a human being. But that was coming because he had a need for her not to reject him. He had a need for women to be nice to him and it sounds like she was nice. He just obviously had some sort of need that every woman should say yes to him. Or he had a need that no woman should ever say that I'm too old for her. And think about the stress that comes from believing that need. Believing that's thinking that is something that you need. What would happen if he was able to and again, I did a full video for him and gave him a lot of tips and stuff like that. So I have no doubt he'll move towards this. But imagine if he was able to let go of that need for women to not reject him. Imagine if he was able to just meet that with curiosity or just openness or neutrality, just feel it, just nothing. Just you know she says, hey, you're a little too old for me. And he's like that's cool, enjoy your day. And then he goes and talks to the next woman. For some of you that would be life changing to literally get to the point where you felt nothing If somebody turned you down. I think for a lot of you that's your entire like goal. You're like man. If I could get there in the next five years, I'd be happy. And for some of you women listening, you'd be like man. If I could just like not care if my I don't know boyfriend is busy and doesn't have time for me. If I could just like literally not care, like I would. You know he's playing video games, I want to hang out with him. He's like nah, honey, I want to play games. If I could just feel like that's okay, honey, you play your games, I love you. If I could feel like that, that would be life changing. I think for some of you, for most of you, I think maybe most human beings on the planet would give anything to get to that level of just even being neutral. That's literally just neutrality, like you feel nothing, you're just neutral If someone doesn't want what you want. That's life changing and that comes from letting go of stories, letting go of needs, letting go of neediness. You know questioning do I actually need this person to give me what I want? Do they have to give me what I want? Would I be okay if they didn't give me what I want? And that's a beautiful question and a place to start from. Would I be okay if they didn't give me what I want. You can kind of to circle it back to the original topic. You can ask this question about me, andy. You can say would I be okay if I never listened to another podcast or video or signed up for coaching from Andy ever again, if I never consumed another piece of content for him from him? Would I be okay? I think for most of you you can say like, yeah, I'd be fine, I'd be okay. And then you can take that one step further and go would I be okay if I never listen to Andy? Or like three of my other favorite content creators or self-help people, like if I put all of them in a little box and I closed it and I never listen to them ever again? Would I be okay? I think for some of you if you're you know, if you really explore it, you might come to the answer of I think I'd be okay. I think I'd be okay. I just find someone else to give me advice. And that's kind of the point when we never need one particular person, we never need anybody, because there's always more people out there. And you can go even further than this if you want to and say would I be okay if I never got any advice from anyone ever again, like if there was never any content creator or coach or whatever to give me advice ever again? Would I be okay? And I think for a lot of you that might be a tough one, but if you want to, you can play around with that and some of you might get to the answer of no, I think I'd be okay. Like I would definitely take 10 times longer to figure things out, and I can say that in my own life. You know, without my mentors and coaches, yeah, I would take like 10 times longer. I have several coaches right now. I have accountability coaches, I have life coach, I have a spiritual coach, I have a bunch of people and without them, yeah, I'd be fine. I'd just take like five or ten times longer to get to the same level. So they definitely help and that's the point. But I don't need them. Without them, I just figure out the answers myself. I would, I'd experiment, I'd try things, I'd make a million stumbles and learn a hell of a lot and go oh, don't do that again. Oh, my god, okay, don't do that again. Oh, I definitely won't be doing that again and I would eventually figure out what works, because that's all that human beings are ever really doing. Even when you listen to my advice or some other person that you listen to, you're the one that still has to try it. And sometimes you will try it and you'll say oh, andy said that that works, but for some reason it didn't work for me, let me try something else. And you try a bunch of stuff until you figure it out, and so you're already doing this process anyway. I don't think there's anyone who listens to every single piece of content that I've ever done and does all of it and it all works out perfectly. That isn't possible. Like, you're not a copy of me. Even if you followed all of my advice to the T and did everything perfectly, you're not me and you're not going to enjoy doing things the way that I enjoy doing things. Like you're a different person. So I don't think there's anyone on the planet who can just take all of my advice and apply it perfectly and be happy. Like, part of this process is self-discovery and figuring out what you like and what your preferences are, and what you're good at and what you're not so good at, and then adapting that to your life. So you're already doing this thing. You don't really need other people. Other people are tremendously beneficial and when you let go of that need, you can really see how much they help you, because you're not clouded by that story or that desperate need of I need them and I need this partner, I need this content creator, I need this expert, I need happiness, I need to stay alive, I need money. I need any of these things that clouds your actual enjoyment of the thing. Again, I have enjoyed money. I have enjoyed sex. Definitely, I have enjoyed content. I have enjoyed all of these things friendships. I have enjoyed my partner, imogen. I have enjoyed our relationships so much more when I've let go of the need to have that thing, because then all I'm left with is a presence and a feeling of like being right. When I say presence, I mean like being present, right here, in this moment. I'm very present, I'm very still, I have a clear mind, I'm very peaceful and I can just look at the other person and be like I am so grateful that you're here, because you don't need to be here and I don't need you to be here, and if you were to leave, I would be grateful for that too. I'm so grateful that you're here and I can just enjoy that moment without a story or without a fear of like. But what if they're not here tomorrow? Doesn't matter if they're not here tomorrow. If they're not here tomorrow, then I'll deal with that tomorrow, but today they are here. Can I just enjoy them being here today? So sex is more fulfilling. You have far more of it. Relationships are more fulfilling. Relationships are more fulfilling and they're easier. Money is far more abundant and you are actually grateful for it instead of having all these weird feelings around it. Friendships come so much easier. Life becomes truly effortless when you have that beautiful non-attachment or outcome independence, and that only really comes from questioning your needs and saying do I actually need this thing? Would I be okay without it? And again, you can still want the thing, and wanting is what you're left with when you take away the need. But you don't have to, or we don't have to, tell ourselves these stories excuse me, these stories or these lies that we need stuff. There's nothing we really need. If these sort of things resonate with you, you can grab my video course called Play to Win how I Built a Winner's Mindset. I talk a lot more about all of these concepts. Basically, everything I just said in this podcast is in that video course, and you can pay whatever you would like for it, even if that's just one dollar, because I don't tell myself the lie anymore that I used to tell myself, which was I need your money. I don't tell myself that lie anymore. Now I want your money. It helps me pay the bills. It means I don't have to think about money as much. It means that I can have more abundance and I can use that to give back to the world. So I would love your money. I want your money. I can be very honest and clear about that. I very much want your money, but I don't need it, and so you can pay whatever you would like, even if that's just one dollar. Or you could not buy the video course, and that's fantastic too. If you'd like more help with any of this, I have coaching as well. You can sign up for the $200 coaching course. We sit down for an hour or so, as long as we need, and talk about whatever it is that you might be going through, whatever you'd like to achieve whatever you want, which is the question I start with. So there's a link in the description below to those and I also have a or we have a big, hardcore coaching program which is 12 weeks plus lifelong access to our accountability group. Get in there, work on whatever your goals are, make you massively successful, massively happy, massively peaceful, massively fulfilled all that beautiful stuff. And a big part of what we work on with people is sort of letting go of this attachment and this need Like that's a big thing that we work on in the coaching group. And then we find people achieve 10,000 times more when they're not stressing out, going oh my God, but I need this, I need this so bad, I need this so bad. If we can get them to let go of that story or that self-deception and show them that they will be okay without it, they then ironically take it's not ironic, but it might seem ironic they then take 10 times more action towards that goal and achieve 10 times more, 10 times faster and they're 10 times happier and they feel like they didn't really even have to do very much. They're just like, oh, this is easy and effortless. What the hell, this doesn't take any energy at all. Yeah, because you're not caught up in the desperate need for this thing. And now you just wake up every day and go what do I want? Well, I'm really excited about my goal. I'm so unbelievably excited. I'm not clouded by fear of not making it. Now all that's left with is excitement about making it. Fuck yeah, let's take 10 times more action. So if all of that resonates with you, we'd love to have you in the coaching program. We have payment plans if money is an issue, so that's easy, and I'm happy to jump on a call with you and discuss if the coaching is right for you. We'd love to have you there. Again, I want you to join the coaching because I get to improve your life, I get money to pay the bills, I get to see you happy, you get to meet all the other people. I know how much of an impact or I'm pretty sure how much of an impact it has on your life, but I definitely don't need you to sign up for coaching. So if you don't want to, don't sign up. As always, ladies and gentlemen, go out there, crush those goals, but crush them because you want to, not because you've told yourself the lie that you need to. At the end of the day, the only question that really remains is what do I want?

Empowering Self-Reliance and Personal Growth
The Power of Self-Reflection and Empowerment
Fear of Death
Embracing Joy, Letting Go of Neediness
Let Go, Find Fulfillment
Achieving Goals and Letting Go Coaching