Speaker 1: 0:00

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, andy, here I went from depressed and suicidal to living a life of abundance and joy. If I can do it, you sure as hell can too. So I had a guy in my coaching program and he was going on a bunch of first dates. And this is a guy who's very attractive and he was getting lots and lots of matches on Tinder going on all of these dates but for some reason none of these women were saying yes to second dates and he couldn't figure out why and he was getting a little bit frustrated. And so whenever I'm in this position where I've got a client who's not getting results, what I get them to do is I get them to brainstorm a list of reasons why this might be happening, and then we can kind of just go through one by one and tick each one off and try different things and see what it might be.

Speaker 1: 0:45

So he wrote this list and he posted it in the coaching group and he had this massive big epiphany. He realized it was because of the lack of grooming and even trying to look at least half decent when he was going on these dates. He basically hadn't been putting in as much effort as he normally would. He'd been putting in like no effort. He wasn't even trying to look decent, like he wasn't trimming his beard, he wasn't shaving, sometimes he wasn't even really brushing his teeth, he was just wearing old clothes that he'd been wearing all day. He didn't put any effort in. He was just kind of dressing very lazy and this is a very attractive guy, like he was very attractive. He'd gotten complacent, though, and he wasn't even doing the bare minimum anymore, and so I'll read out what he wrote, or some of what he wrote, and then what I said to him in reply. He said I've been getting complacent on these dates. I haven't worn my best clothes, I didn't groom, I didn't clean my shoes. I thought that I was hot shit and that I didn't need to try so hard anymore. If anything, I thought that maybe I'm too handsome, so I need to tone it down a little bit low, which actually made me be even more lazy when going on these dates. All of these stories are laughable once I detach from them.

Speaker 1: 1:59

Some might say that this is a shallow reason for someone to reject me on her part, but I don't think it is. The way that we present ourselves says a lot about us, especially when it's in your control. For instance, I had a really unkempt beard. I had bad skin and this indicates poor hygiene, even if you think your hygiene is good. Also, my behaviors on the date reeked of someone who was so insecure that he couldn't even try. So that also affects the way that a woman perceives your attractiveness. I've seen literal jacked male models put women off by their behavior.

Speaker 1: 2:32

Being good looking does not necessarily equal being attractive, even though my worth as a man is not dependent on my looks. Looking good makes you feel good. So I'm not going to repeat this again From now on. I'm going to put my best foot forward on dates. I'm going to try, because trying is a good thing. I'd rather be a so-called trihard than someone who doesn't put any effort in whatsoever. And I said to him in response I love this appearance.

Speaker 1: 2:58

Is your resume? A low effort resume won't even get looked at, even if the inner contents are absolutely amazing. The resume has to be at least passable. It's the cover of your book and first impressions do matter to some extent. The better that your resume, or in this case, the better your appearance. Or in this guy's case, it's more like just even put any effort into your appearance because he really wasn't trying, the more chance you'll get for girls to then see your inequalities. Yes, it's correct that appearance isn't your sole worth. Of course it isn't, but in some ways it's sort of like the gatekeeper to some of the rest of your qualities. A lot of girls won't even get to see your other qualities if you lock those qualities behind an unkempt appearance.

Speaker 1: 3:45

And so you can think of this podcast here today as just a friendly reminder at the power of actually putting effort in when we go on dates, and I myself have fallen into this. In the early days I went through a period where I was like I don't wanna be a try hard, so I didn't really try at all and I didn't really put any effort in and I kind of just went to a date wearing whatever the hell I felt like and I didn't put any effort into the conversation. Not that you have to be amazing at conversation you really don't but like there's a difference between at least keeping a conversation versus what I did a little bit and what this client did, which is like putting zero effort in and like barely even answering someone's question, which just comes across as like disinterest. You know, if the other person, the woman's on the date with you and she's putting in some level of effort but you don't even look like you can be bothered answering her questions properly or asking her any questions or trimming your neck beard or wearing some decent clothes or any of that sort of stuff, it just comes across, or people take it, as if you're not really that interested in them, and so it's not so much that people are not attracted to you or like it is a little bit of that. But if you're going to dates and not putting any effort in, it just comes across as if you're not that interested in the other person. And do you yourself want to spend time with someone who's not that interested in you? No, of course not. It's a turnoff. And so you can see why. You know, like in this guy's case and me in the early days myself with my dating, not putting in any effort whatsoever and being kind of like complacent and lazy doesn't really lead to the sex and the dating life that you might want. And again, as a caveat, it doesn't mean that you have to be the best person in the entire world and look like an absolute God and be super passionate and super engaging and super amazing. No, it's sort of like a spectrum or a sliding scale and this client of mine and myself, at times in my early days we were both basically putting in zero effort and, as with the resume example, yeah, that doesn't really even get a look at.

Speaker 1: 5:55

And I had a time in my life when I was a manager when I was younger, I was a manager at a grocery store and part of my job was to read the resumes of potential hires and then interview them. And we would get, like you know, 50 to 100 resumes and cover letters like applications every single week. And I'm telling you, as the person whose job it literally was to read them all and then figure out who I wanted to interview and then figure out who I would ultimately hire, the resumes where it looked like they put in zero effort, like where they literally couldn't even be bothered and yes, there were quite a few of them where it's like they can't even be bothered spelling things correctly. They haven't even spell checked this. They've put zero effort into like you know, what jobs did you work? They just don't even bother filling that bit out. Or, you know, they don't put in any sort of cover letter. They don't explain why they want the job. They don't explain how excited they are, like they just they've put no effort in whatsoever.

Speaker 1: 6:58

I would just I had a pile for those, I would put them in the pile with all of the other ones which, by the way, was like 80% of the applications they put no fucking effort in, and I think that's most people on dates too, honestly no, maybe that's a little harsh. I think most people put effort in but stand out by just putting in a tiny little bit more effort than everybody else. Aim for above average. You know, my mentor, good looking loser, chris from Good Looking Loser, used to talk all the time about just be above average, and obviously a lot of us want to go for way more than above average. I certainly do, but above average is a beautiful starting point. So put in a little bit of effort. Your appearance is your resume, even if you're just leaving the house to go and grab some milk from the store or something.

Speaker 1: 7:47

Something that's really served me is I sort of have given myself a beautiful standard where every time I leave the house I put in the same amount of effort as if I was going somewhere you know like a date or something, and that doesn't take very long. It's eventually, when you do this and you practice this, you can get to a point where it takes you like five minutes to be ready to go. You know, especially if every day you're grooming your beard, you're trimming that kind of stuff doesn't take more than five minutes. So maybe I can be generous and say it takes 10 minutes to leave the house, which really isn't much effort. But it means that if I do run across a woman that I want to talk to, or if I do run into a friend or just a random stranger when I'm talking to them, I can feel a little bit more proud or self loving with how I'm dressed that day and how I'm appearing that day. So this has been a game changer for me. When I first started really sort of putting in some effort and it really is self love, you know, all those years ago it looks like it was a game changer, or it was a game changer for my client here.

Speaker 1: 8:45

If you would like to go out there, put in that effort, love, that resume of yours. Keep building that resume day by day. Aim to make it 1% better every single day. As always, ladies and gentlemen, go out there and crush those goals. If you've been wanting an amazing, awesome, elite sex life tons of threesomes, plenty of wild adventures and great memories with awesome people we would love to help you get there. Here's just a little bit of what our coaching clients have achieved in their time in the program. Renee had a threesome in just his second week of coaching, had a woman write him a love letter and he went on to have sex with 12 women in just 12 weeks of coaching. Corky had his first threesome, slept with seven amazing women and made a ton of awesome memories with them. George and Pao both had sex with 10 women each in their 12 weeks, had a bunch of wild adventures along the way. Join me and join them by clicking the coaching link in the description below.