What happens if you literally say: "I want to have sex with you"

Speaker 1: 0:00

Ladies and gentlemen, andy, here I went from depressed and suicidal to living a life of abundance and joy. If I can do it, you sure as hell can too. So the title of this podcast Can you Just Tell A Woman I Want To have Sex With you? Here's a short answer to save you listening to the entire podcast. Yes, you frickin' can. Of course you can.

Speaker 1: 0:21

And this question comes up a lot whenever I talk about honesty and authenticity and what I call autistic honesty, which is my philosophy, where, you know, maybe I'm a little bit autistic myself, but I just embrace that and whatever is in my mind, I just say that to the other person, as long as it's something that's kind. You know, I always try and be kind to other people, but I say whatever is in my head and I've just found that that has been such a. It's been such a game changer for my dating life over the last 10 years. But more than anything, it's just been a game changer for my peace and my own happiness and my own sense of self. If I don't have to think about what to say, if I don't have to play these goddamn games with people, if I can literally just be honest about my intentions and be very truthful. Everything is so much easier.

Speaker 1: 1:11

And this question is usually asked you know, can you just tell a woman that you want to have sex with her? It's usually asked in a way where people are discussing honesty and they'll usually say you know, I know they'll be asking how can I invite her back to my apartment or how can I make a move when we're back to you know, back at my apartment. And they'll ask the question in this way. They'll say you know, what do I say to get across the idea that I want to have sex with her? How do I show her that I'm interested in her? And I know I can't just say I want to have sex with you and I'll always hit the pause button on that conversation and I'll say is that true? Is it true that you can't just tell her that you want to have sex with her? And you can. I can always see the gears turning in the person's mind and they go oh, can I, am I allowed to tell her that I want to have sex with her? And it's like, why not? Is that not the truth? Is that not honesty? Would you not be a man or a person of integrity. If you were to speak that truth, wouldn't that make you a more authentic person? And so I have always not always, but for the last, like you know, three, four, five years, I'm always just honest.

Speaker 1: 2:21

Now I would just say exactly what I want. If I'm on a date and I'm thinking that a girl is so fucking sexy and I'm having sexual thoughts about her and I want to have sex with her, I'll literally just say that I'll be like yo, you're so hot, like holy shit, you don't even know what's in my head right now. I'm having so many thoughts of like oh woman, you don't even want to know. And she'll be like what, what are you thinking? I'll be like I'm literally just thinking of all the kinky shit that I want to do with you, like holy fuck, like you are so hot. I would just be honest about that and that honesty, and that just autistic honesty, that saying exactly what you're feeling or what you're thinking and just owning it. That's so unbelievably attractive to people. It's also honest. And you get to drop the games and you don't have to manipulate. You know, you don't have to try and persuade someone or convince someone to have sex with you, or you don't have to play games to try and show them that you want to have sex with them. You're just being honest about it.

Speaker 1: 3:12

Now, if you want to do something, if you enjoy seduction and you enjoy flirting and you enjoy, you know, kink and being a little bit naughty and all of that like, have at it, that shit's fun and I do that stuff a lot. But the question is, can you just be honest and tell her that you want to have sex with her? And the answer is, of course, isn't that honesty? Especially if you say it in the way that I encourage, which is coming from a place of non neediness. You know, don't say it with expectations, don't say it as if it's a technique to try and get her into bed. No, you're just telling the truth. You're putting the truth out there. You're, I'm really attracted to you, I'm really into you. I'm having such a great time, I really want to go back to my place and fool around with you or have sex with you. I'm just really sexually attracted to you.

Speaker 1: 3:57

You put it out there and you don't have any expectations of what comes back, because she's a free thinking human being who's able to say no or able to say yes, and so if you just put it out there that, hey, I want to have sex with you, whatever happens, is beautiful, you know. If she says, hey, I don't want to tonight, or I want to wait till next time, or I don't know if I'm ready, or I don't want to have sex with you at all, that's beautiful. You spoke your truth and the other person's reaction doesn't really matter. You'll be happy if she says no, you'll be happy if she says yes. And if you're not at that point yet, if you're still at the point where you're frustrated by a no, you can kind of go in there and investigate and say why am I so? You know you would probably do this after the date. But you go in there and say, why am I so? Annoyed at her saying no? And every single time the answer that will come back is because I had an expectation. I was expecting her to say yes. I wanted her to say yes. If I let go of that, if I don't have any expectation, then I can never be disappointed. If you have, if you only ever expect reality, you can never be disappointed. And if the reality is that she says no, if you expected reality to do whatever it's gonna do, or her to say whatever she's gonna say, then there's no disappointment, there's no frustration, and it's just you putting your vibes out into the world, and whatever comes back is amazing. And so to give you more evidence so it's not just me talking I'll read out something that one of our old coaching clients, a guy called RV Right and I've asked his permission to share this, and he wrote this in the coaching when he was in the coaching group, which was a couple months ago now, and he's.

Speaker 1: 5:33

We were having a discussion literally about this and someone was asking if you can just be honest and say I want to have sex with you. And so he said yeah. Just to add to what Andy said, I've been surprised with just how honest that I could be with girls. One of my dates three weeks ago, we were having a good time and I just told her straight up that I thought her body was sexy and that I want her. She wasn't ready for sex in that moment, but it actually made the communication better, since I now didn't have to hide the fact that I wanted to fuck her Several times. I told her that I want to fuck her, since I think she's hot, and she told me how much she loved my honesty and how it made her feel good and feel sexy.

Speaker 1: 6:12

Two other girls that I met after that. I did the exact same thing with them and I just told them what I felt, exactly as I was feeling it. Both of those girls also gave me a lot of praise for saying things like they appreciate how genuine and honest I am, how they like that I'm upfront, I lit, or it. Let them be more honest too, as they were then able to tell me later on how sexy they find me. You know how handsome I am and all that sort of stuff. And this guy gets called pretty a lot by girls as well. So he said these girls called him pretty as well. He does have like pretty boy looks. He goes on to say I think the main benefit of being very honest is that you don't have to think or worry about impressing the girls that you go and dates with. For me, that was a huge pressure reliever, since I worry about how I come across a lot and taking that away, let me just enjoy the women that I was spending time with. I was literally. This is me and he's speaking now.

Speaker 1: 7:07

I was literally having this conversation with my spiritual coach, keith, earlier today, and we were talking about abundance mindset and outcome independence, and a lot of people get these concepts a little bit confused, like they think. Most of you probably think that abundance mindset means having a lot of abundance. You know, you probably have it in your head that if you just go and have a lot of sex with a lot of women or make a lot of money or whatever your goal is, if you just have an abundance of the thing, then you'll automatically have an abundance mindset. That is absolutely not true. There are people out there, a ton of people out there, with so much fucking money and yet they're almost desperate to keep hold of it. They don't have abundance mindset. They have billions of dollars and they don't have abundance mindset. There are people that have had sex with 500, 1000 women and yet they still have a sex addiction or a desperate need to get these women to like them or give them validation.

Speaker 1: 8:02

And I'm sure all of you know Plenty of women that have literally millions of followers but they're still desperate for validation and they will make a post that gets like literally a fucking 10,000 likes or something, a number that the rest of us Probably can't comprehend, and yet they will still feel a lack of validation. And so abundance mentality doesn't come from having an abundance of something. In fact, you can be rich, wealthy, have all this sex in the world and still feel scarcity mindset. We see this a lot with celebrities and millionaires who feel like they still don't have enough just by having more than any of us could ever dream of. And so what abundance mindset or abundance mentality actually is is it is not caring about rejection, or it's not caring if you don't have that thing anymore, it's about not needing it. So it's not about having a lot of it, it's about not needing to have a lot of it. And if you happen to have a lot of it, that's beautiful. And then if it was all to go away tomorrow and no one was to ever have sex with you ever again, you'd be okay with that. You'd be like, hey, that's fine, that's cool. So it's about not caring.

Speaker 1: 9:12

And this is why I push, or big reason why encourage honesty, so much honesty and just saying what you want and being honest about it and not really caring what the other person's reaction is, obviously trying to be kind and compassionate, but you know not getting upset if somebody else doesn't give you what you want. That is abundance mentality. That is outcome independence. It's about being able to say if you want to, you don't have to. But if you want to, being able to say I want to have sex with you and not really caring what the reaction is. Not caring if she's like, oh, that's gross, I don't want to have sex with you. Not caring if she's like, oh, that's too honest and forward, I don't like that. And if that does happen, abundance mentality is about saying, hey, that's beautiful, you want something different to me. Isn't that amazing that we're two different human beings? Isn't it amazing that you know the human tapestry has so many different variations and flavors? I love that. You want something else. I want something else, that's beautiful. Let's go separate ways. That's abundance mentality.

Speaker 1: 10:10

It's about honesty and just saying whatever it is that you want, and not caring if somebody doesn't want to give you that, because you know that you can just go to the next person and ask them. You know that there are so many human beings on the planet that someone out there wants the same thing that you want and you don't need this person that's right in front of you now to give it to you, because you go, or you know, if they don't give it to me, that's beautiful, I'll go find someone else who will. Or if this person doesn't want to share this experience with me, hey, that's amazing. I hope they go and find their experience and I'm gonna go find this experience that I want to have with someone else who wants to have it with me. That's abundance mentality. That's a big reason why I talk about honesty.

Speaker 1: 10:50

And again, at the end of the day, you're allowed to say whatever you want to say. You don't have to tell a woman that you want to have sex with her, but that option is on the table. It's available to you if that's something you would like to do. And anytime, I can't think of what to say. You know, on a date or on a coaching call or in a podcast, you will hear me say this sentence a lot. I'll say Maybe this is a clumsy way of saying it, but and then I'll just say the thing you can say, exactly that on a date, you're allowed to say yeah, I'm trying to think of a really smooth way to say this and I'm trying to come up with some like Smooth James Bond line or say this in a way that'll make you think I'm super attractive or cool or something. But fuck it, I'm just going to say this and it's going to be a little awkward and that's okay.

Speaker 1: 11:34

I kind of want to have sex with you. I'm just sitting here thinking I kinda want you. You're really fucking sexy. I can't help myself. I just want you Just say it like that. Or you're allowed to say it like that. If you wish to. You can add the little buffer at the start. You know the little disclaimer or the little look. I know this is gonna be, I know I might be a bit awkward, or I know this might be a bit clumsy, or I can't think of a good way to say this, or I'm trying to be really smooth and I just think, fuck it, I'm gonna say it Like. You're allowed to add that bit at the start. If that helps, you say the thing.

Speaker 1: 12:07

So at the end of the day, can you tell a woman I wanna have sex with you? Of course you can. You're allowed to say literally anything and nothing bad happens. The worst thing that happens is she says hey, that's a little bit too forward for me, or I'm not ready yet, which is what plenty of women will say, by the way. But guess what? They respect the fact that you're honest. Now and now they can trust you because you've just said the thing. You know you're not trying to get sex with some weird game. You've literally just said yeah, we both know why we're here. We know what the elephant in the room is. I'm obviously attracted to you. That's why I asked you out. I wanna have sex with you. That's why I asked you out, and I'm honest enough to tell you that. I've said this in so many podcasts and so many YouTube videos.

Speaker 1: 12:50

I will just straight up tell you, guys and girls like yo, hey, I want money. Like I'll literally just say that. I'll say, hey, I'm mentioning coaching because I wanna pay off this tax debt that I have. It's about $50,000 left. I'm keen to get it paid off and then I'm gonna move on with the next chapter. So you'd really be helping me out if you gave me money, and obviously I would pour my heart and soul into improving your life, changing your life, giving you those beautiful goals that you've always wanted.

Speaker 1: 13:14

I just straight up tell you, guys and girls, I don't use some weird fucking like conniving way of trying to get money out of you, right? I don't pretend that I'm not here, for I don't pretend that the coaching isn't there to give me money. Literally, the coaching is there so that I can pay the bills, and I just straight up tell you that. And then I tell you that I'm grateful for that. And so do you see how, if you just own this stuff, you can be so much more honest and upfront and you can actually be your true self and you don't have this weird shame or guilt around it.

Speaker 1: 13:43

Because if you're not just telling a woman you're I'm attracted to you, or I like you, or you're sexy, or I want you, or I wanna have sex with you, a lot of the time it's coming from a place of shame. It's like, man, I shouldn't be thinking like this, or it's bad that I want her, it's bad that I wanna have sex, it's bad that I wanna make money. It's like you're framing it as a negative thing and then the gut reaction or the knee jerk reaction is to then be a little bit ashamed and to try and get it from a like conniving way or trying to be smooth to cover up the fact that you want sex and hopefully she won't notice that you want sex and before you know what you've said, just her and you guys are having sex and, again, seduction and flirting and all of that. That can be wonderful, it can be a beautiful part of floor play. I'm not saying not to do that, but if you want to be honest and just say I wanna have sex with you, that option is there for you. You're allowed to do it. I've done it for a long period of time and basically every single reaction has been great.

Speaker 1: 14:40

Just like Avi, my past coaching client, mentioned, pretty much every single girl is like wow, I really respect your honesty. I can't believe you have this honesty up front. Then guess what? Now I actually trust you because you're not trying to sneak your way into my pants. You're just manning up and telling me I wanna have sex with you. So now I can trust you because you'll just tell me what's on your mind. I don't have to defend, I don't have to put up walls or barriers to try and stop you sneaking into my pants. In other words, I can trust you.

Speaker 1: 15:09

And so when we do get to sex if we get to sex it's gonna be a lot kinkier, a lot more open, a lot more intimate, a lot more trusting, a lot more filthy, because it's very easy to have filthy sex with people that you trust, who aren't trying to sneak their way into your pants, who've literally just openly communicated to you I wanna have sex. Then you know, or this person's just gonna tell me whatever their agenda is or whatever they want they don't even have an agenda, it's more just a want and they're gonna tell me and I'm free to say yes or no. It's so much easier to say yes or no to someone who just straight up tells you I wanna have sex with you, rather than sort of using games or seduction or any other. Again, nothing against seduction, but I like honesty. So, yes, you can tell a woman you wanna have sex with her. You can just tell people that you want money. You're allowed to say whatever the hell you want. At the end of the day, you can say anything you want and I promise nothing bad will happen if you're honest. In fact, it's been my experience in all of my clients that beautiful things happen when you're completely honest.

Speaker 1: 16:09

I will leave links in the description below to my latest video course, to my coaching, so check any of that out. You can grab my video course for $1. Link is in the description below to that. As always, ladies and gentlemen, go out there and crush those goals.