Kill Your Inner Loser / Andy Wells

Can't enjoy life because you're not having sex?

January 18, 2024 Andy Wells
Kill Your Inner Loser / Andy Wells
Can't enjoy life because you're not having sex?
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Wish you had people to talk to about your lack of sexual experience and how it's affecting you? This podcast will help.

Get Laid in 6 Weeks (Even If You're a Virgin/Inexperienced):

How to make friends guide:

Relax, You'll Eventually Get Laid:

Previous episodes in this series:
Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:
Part 4:
Part 5:

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Speaker 1:

Hello you good looking, handsome, amazing, legendary human beings. Andy, here. I went from depressed and suicidal to living a life of abundance and joy. If I can do it, you sure as hell can too. This is part five in my series where I'm tackling some of the pain points, or the points of struggle, I guess, for guys that are inexperienced. Maybe you're a virgin, you don't have a lot of sex or you haven't had a lot of sex. This is part five. I really recommend going back in listening to the previous four parts. A lot of the discussions and advice that I'm going to give here today rely on you having listened to those past four episodes, so I will leave a link in the description to all four episodes. I recommend you go listen to them. Let's get straight into it. So a big pain point that I see that comes up a lot with inexperienced guys is struggling to feel like they have anyone they can talk to about it, about the fact that they don't know how to get laid, or they haven't gotten laid or they haven't had the experience they want. Or maybe you're sitting there wanting a girlfriend and you don't really feel like it's something you can talk to your friends or your family or anybody else about it, and I get that there's a lot of shame that can come from believing that you're not good enough just because you haven't had sex, or believing that there's something wrong with you or you're not enough of a man. Again, go back and listen to some of the previous episodes in this series. Link is in the description below. I covered feelings. I did an entire one about the feeling of not being man enough just because you haven't had sex or had much sex, and in the previous episode I also talked about how to actually start these conversations, whether that's with women that you go on dates with, like how to tell them that you're not super experienced, or opening up to your friends and family, and how to start that conversation. But essentially just give yourself permission to suck with that conversation. You can take some baby steps and just say, hey, I want to talk to you about something. I feel like I don't really know how to meet women. You can kind of just start from that point. But another thing that you can do that I didn't talk about in the previous episode is you can just go and find communities where everybody does talk about this thing and no one's going to judge you and everyone's going to be open and listen to you and help you and all of that, obviously, my community. You're right here listening at this point in time and so you can just open up and share and make some friends with the people around here. Obviously, my coaching program is an amazing space for this, so there's a link in the description below if you'd like to join that. There's obviously forums. You can jump on my YouTube channel and leave a comment on any video and I will reply and so will the other people, and everyone will be non-judgmental. You can also go out there and make some friends in real life. You can find people in your local area who are going out and talking to women, or you can just make some friends. I have an entire guide on my website on how to make friends. I'll leave a link in the description below to that as well, and in that guide I literally talk about how to find friends that are working on the same goals as you. So how to find friends that are working on their sex life or working on getting laid a little bit more, and so you can build that kind of network up and have these people that, like I said, won't judge you. They'll push you to achieve this goal. You'll push them. You'll be brothers in arms, so to speak. So there's plenty of people out there that you can open up to. If you don't feel like you have anybody to talk to, you know, like I said, just jump on my YouTube channel and leave a comment and I will reply to you and other people will reply to you. You can slowly build out that network of just having a couple of people that you can talk to about this stuff, because I understand the idea of you know, or the feeling of I'm not going to be able to talk to some of my friends and definitely not my family about this. Trust me, I get that. I understand that feeling. I felt like that for a very long time and so just make some other friends that you can talk to about this stuff. But at the end of the day, there's nothing to be ashamed about. As I said in the previous episodes, if you haven't had a lot of sexual experience, that's it. That's the end of the story. It's not. I haven't had a lot of sexual experience and therefore I'm a pussy, or I'm not enough of a man, or I'm a loser, or you know there's something wrong with me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's just I haven't had a lot of sexual experience, that's it. That's the whole story. That's the truth. You don't have to sort of add the extra shame and the guilt on top and tell some story of how you're a loser or something just because you haven't done something. You just haven't done the thing yet. So go out and take some baby steps towards getting that thing or doing that thing, and then you would have done the thing. Another very big pain point that I see coming up a lot with inexperienced guys is if they're going on a date, they can sort of struggle to enjoy any part of the dating experience. Or even if they go outside and start talking to women, or if they go on dating apps, they struggle to enjoy any of it because they're so obsessed with the fact that they're not getting laid and it's almost like they're so hyper focused on you know, I need to get laid, I need to get laid, I'm a loser because I'm not getting laid that they can't just enjoy the presence of a woman. They can enjoy the conversation. They can enjoy Going on a date. They can enjoy going on Tinder and messaging people. They can enjoy going outside and hitting on some women, because every single second that they're not getting laid, it's like they define themselves by that lack of sex. You know what I mean. So they'll be going about their day, or maybe they're going to work or something, and they'll sit there the entire time going Madam loser, I'm not getting laid, I'm not getting laid, I'm not getting laid. And to some extent there's a little bit of a patience game here. Like it might take you a little while to have a little bit more sex. You know you might not have sex right this millisecond, right this moment in time. You know there's probably not a woman who's going to hop onto your penis right this millisecond, and so to some extent, there is a little bit of patience required. You know, for some of you there might be some self improvement that's required. You might have to lose a bit away, you might have to go to the gym, you might have to dress better, you might have to do some stuff that takes a little bit of time, and so, as best you can and I know that it can be a little bit of a struggle at times but as best you can, you want to be as patient as you possibly can and Kind of humble yourself and lower it's not like lowering your expectation, but it also kind of is, instead of saying I'm only a success once I've had sex or I'm only going to be happy with sex and everything else you know other than that is just going to make me unhappy and grumpy and sad and feeling lonely and like a loser you can kind of humble yourself a little bit and say, what if I just enjoy the little things? What if I can notice and be grateful for the tiny things? Like I go outside and I smile at a woman and she smiles back, can I be grateful for that? Can I find success or victory in just doing the little steps that lead towards sex? So if I go on Tinder and I swipe right on 50 girls, even if I don't get a match, just be happy that I took some action. And instead of saying, well, I haven't gotten laid yet, so therefore I'm a failure and it's not going to work and I'm sad and I'm annoyed and all of that, can I just enjoy every little step? Can I go outside and talk to one woman and just be okay with that and not worry so much about what happens and just trust in the process that if I take action enough times, I will eventually get laid. One of my favorite articles that I've ever read on the subject was by good looking loser, chris from good looking loser, and the article was called relax, you'll eventually get pussy, and I read that article hundreds, maybe a thousand times. I used to read it almost daily because it's basically a big Warm hug from someone who's made it telling you hey, I promise you, if you're just patient, you will make it to. I promise you you're going to get there. Just don't quit, just keep doing what you're doing. I promise, if your patient, you will get there. I'll leave a link in the description to that article. Actually, I'll leave a link to the video that I did About the article. I did a video basically adding my own take on the article, because his website is currently off the internet. It's offline so you can go and watch my video where I covered the article. But it can really help to remind yourself that you're eventually going to get there. If you just keep taking the action, you will eventually get there, and that can help you as best you can relax a little bit and enjoy every step of this process. You know I talk about this all the time. You don't have to suffer in order to reach your goals, and if one of your goals is to have more sex or to get laid or to lose your virginity or something like that, you don't have to be suffering every step of the way until you finally get laid. You can enjoy every little step of the process and I know you really want to have sex, otherwise you probably wouldn't be listening to this particular episode. But you're going to get laid when you get laid Right. It'll happen when it happens, and if you can enjoy the time leading up to that moment, first of all you're gonna have a better time. You know, fucking suffer. Second of all, you'll actually get there a lot quicker. The time will pass quicker and you will actually take more action, because it's so much easier to take action when you're feeling okay, you know, let alone if you're feeling really good. But if you're just feeling okay, it's easier to take action compared to if you're feeling depressed and hopeless and like you're never gonna make it. It's really hard to take action under those circumstances and you obviously still can take action, but my god, does it take a lot of willpower and motivation and it's not fun. And so if you can enjoy this process, you will get 10 times more done with 10 times less effort. A lot of the action feels a lot more effortless if you can enjoy the process. And again, you don't have to be perfect with enjoying the process, but Just try and enjoy it as best as you possibly can, try and be patient as best as you possibly can, keep taking action every day and just trust that eventually you will get laid. The third big pain point that I see with guys who are inexperienced and this one comes up a lot is Almost like a almost like you're not sure who to trust, or which content creator or which you know guru, which person giving you advice. You're not sure who to trust and I get this question a lot, man, it comes up a lot what people are like hey, andy, you know who should I trust? Should I trust you and your advice, or should I trust this other guy? You know who should I follow, who's correct? Or sometimes people will just come to me and say hey, andy, when it comes to you know, approaching women, this other content creator said to do this, but then you and he say this other thing. You know who's correct, what's the right answer, and I've said this a million times and I'll say it until the cows come home. Often both people are correct. There almost is never one true, correct answer. There's usually a million different ways of doing something, and so all your only job is to just try one person's advice and see if it works for you, see if you like it. Then try the other person's advice, see if it works for you, see if you like it. Maybe you can do a hybrid of one or the other. But, especially if you're inexperienced, I would just pick one person and give it a really good go like pick one person's advice, follow it for six months and see how you go with that, and then you can try something else. So Pick my advice and just do it. You know I have a how to get laid in six weeks. Even if you're a virgin guide. You can pay $1 for that, the links in the description below. Go by that Again, one fucking dollar. Go by that and try that for six months. I mean try for six weeks. The point is it you can get laid in six weeks, but try it for six months and see how that goes and then go try someone else's advice and see what you like. So there is no correct answer. You are your own unique individual who's going to have your own preferences and your own likes and dislikes, and you might gel with some other content creator, some other person giving you advice. You might like their advice more than mine, or you might like my advice more than someone else's. It doesn't mean that the other person is wrong. It doesn't mean that my advice is better. It just means you happen to click with. You know my particular voice and my particular story and my particular way of trying to coach you or trying to help you. In other words, stop looking for the one true answer. I see so many people that procrastinate actually taking action Because they're sitting there trying to be an internet expert. They're going I've got a research like 50 different people and try and figure out who's correct. You know, should I follow Andy or should I follow I don't know Alex from playing with fire. Or should I follow Caleb Jones or should I follow good looking loser? It's like it really doesn't matter and pretty much all of us will agree, because I've talked to all of those people, have been on podcast with most of those people and we've said this on podcast we're like we don't actually give a fuck which one of us you follow, like why the fuck would we give a shit? We just want you to pick one of us and just do that for six months. Just go all in with the advice that we're giving you and try it and then try someone else. Like we really don't give a fuck which one of us you pick, why the hell would we get? We just want you to pick whoever the fuck you end up picking and then just go with that. And all of us have the same agreement that taking action matters more than everyone else. Basically, every single psychologist believes that. Every single therapist believes that. Every single motivational coach believes that. Every life coach, every dating expert literally everyone says if you want something no-transcript, just go and take some action. And so it is more important for you to go out and take some action, you know, go and talk to some women or work on your fashion, or Go on Tinder and take some better pictures and put yourself out there. Some sort of action, and do that consistently over a long enough period of time. That is far more important than you trying to find. You know which content creator is correct or who I should follow, and I often see people putting this pressure on themselves that they have to be efficient with their time. You know, I have to know who would be the best person to follow. I have to know what the most efficient advice to follow would be. It's like motherfucker. You're not capable of efficiency Literally. You haven't done this before. Efficiency is something that you earn. I did a podcast a while ago called efficiency and competence is something that you earn. Like literally, you have to do the thing a lot of times and then you become more efficient at it. So don't worry about finding the correct guru or the best course of action or the best Tinder guide on the internet. Or you know what is the best best method for getting women, what is the best method for getting money? It's like it doesn't matter what the best one is. You're not even gonna know. You're fucking newbie. Like how would you even know how to evaluate whether or not the advice is good or not until you actually try it for yourself? And so pick one, pick anyone. It can be me, it can be anyone else. I like the content that I put out because you know I'm the one putting it out, but you might jail with someone else. Better, beautiful, pick that person, pick someone and just do it for six months. Do everything they say you know, go all in with it and then after six months you can try something else. So you don't have to find the right answer. Just find a good enough answer and go all in with it. So I hope this stuff helps a little bit. Like I said, there was a bunch of previous episodes in this series. I'll leave a link in the description to all of those. I also have the book that's how to get laid in six weeks, even if you're a virgin. I will leave a link to that in the description. You can just pay $1 for that. I have coaching as well. If you want my help with this, I will leave a link in the description to that. As always, ladies and gentlemen, go out there, crush those goals and have a bloody good time doing it.

Overcoming Insecurities, Enjoying Dating Process
Take Action, Try Different Advice
Finding a Good Answer for Success