Separate Beds for Better Sleep

Speaker 1 0:00

Ladies and gentlemen , boys and girls , andy , here I went from depressed and suicidal to living a life of abundance and joy . If I can do it , you show us how can too . So one thing that Imogen and I do , which is very normal to us , but every now and then when someone finds out they're interested . So I thought I'd talk about it here , and the thing that we do is we sleep in separate beds and technically we have our own apartments as well , so that we completely have our own space . I live on my own and Imogen house shares with a couple of other women , but for about a year or so , when money was tied , we did live together , but still in separate bedrooms , and we've always slept in separate beds , just pretty much always . Part of the reason why , or really the only reason why , is because we both sleep a lot better , and I think a lot of people fall into that category too . I honestly don't think most people sleep well with a partner , but I think it's so common in mainstream that everybody just assumes that it's what you do and is very normal . But I don't think most people have ever checked and said or asked themselves and their partner do we want to actually sleep in the same bed or would we like separate beds ? And at the end of the day , obviously I'm a big advocate of everybody doing whatever it is they want to do . But it's just been so nice over the last you know , four or five , or it's five and a half years , five and a half years of our relationship being able to have that separate space . You know , decent sleep has been so unbelievably helpful to me , enjoying every day getting a lot done , and the same thing with Imogen as well . It's how I've been able to achieve all of my goals , or it's a big part of it .

Speaker 1 1:42

And obviously my sleep is really perfect , but infinitely better than the average sleep , and a big part of that is because I have my own bed . I have my own space . I can retire into the bedroom at whatever time I want . I'm not beholden to my partner's sleep patterns and when she wants to go to sleep we also don't toss and turn and fight over space or blankets . I get to have the room as hot or as cold as I would like . If I go up to go to the toilet , I don't wake her up . If she wakes up before me or I wake up before her , we don't disturb each other .

Speaker 1 2:18

There's all sorts of wonderful benefits of sleeping in my own bed and it's meant that I can really just wake up every day and focus on doing what I want to do , and she can do the same thing , because we wake up at like roughly sort of the same time , but I usually wake up at 4.30 , 5.00 am , 5.30 , depends , you know , whenever I wake up I don't have an alarm or anything , but I usually wake up early and she wakes up a little bit later , like 6.00 am , sometimes 6.30 , 7.00 am . And so having our own separate beds and now having our own separate apartments well , for most of our relationship we were living in separate apartments , but that's meant that we don't wake each other up , we don't bother each other , we get to kick some ass and then come together and not be grouchers , I guess , not be grumpy and not that you have to be grumpy just because you didn't get perfect sleep but good sleep has definitely been instrumental in , like I said , a lot of the achievements that I've had over the last like 5.30 years , and I wrote an article called Sleep is Paramount where I talked about how sleep , decent sleep , good sleep , I guess you could say , has been really , really , really beneficial to me . There's also a really good book by Matthew Walker called why we Sleep and that book paired with my article and I'll leave a link in the show notes or the description to my article , but my article and Matthew Walker's book together . You know we both walk you through steps . If this is something you want to prioritize , like getting good sleep , we walk you through how to do that . All the things that have worked for me , all the different tricks and habits and things that I've built over the last I don't know I've been working on my , I've prioritized my sleep . I've cared about my sleep for probably the last like seven or so years , maybe eight years . And if this is something that's important to you , like having decent sleep or even achieving big goals , you make it 10,000 times easier on yourself if you have decent sleep . But you can follow this even if you're just having casual sex , right , like you don't have to let anyone sleep over that you don't want to sleep over . And this is something that I think a lot of guys feel a bit guilty about , like they worry that . But isn't it mean to like ask a girl to go home if she comes over to my place and we have sex , and then why kick her out ? That feels mean .

Speaker 1 4:38

I personally in my life never let anyone sleep over that I was casually seeing or , to this day , that I'm still casually seeing See . Only exception is people that I really really , really like and that I've been seeing for a long time . So Imogen obviously can crash at my house if she wants to , but that doesn't really happen that often . The girl that we're dating right now that we've been seeing for a year , occasionally she can crash on our couch or we have a separate room with a separate mattress . Every now and then she can crash there , but outside of those two people who are quite special to me , and that is again probably like once every two months . That happens outside of those two . No , I never let a single other person sleep over Like it just wasn't ever something that I wanted to do . Now , if you want to let someone sleep over , wonderful , great , have fun with that .

Speaker 1 5:27

But I think a lot of guys don't want a woman to sleep over , but they're worried that it's bad or wrong or mean to ask her to go home , and so what I would always do is I would tell them beforehand . If I was seeing them at night , I'd tell them like ages before , like if they were coming over to my place and we were gonna have sex , I would text them that day or the day before and be like , by the way , sleep is super important to me . So if you come over , either be able to drive yourself home or I can order you an Uber or like we'll figure out what to do , but you can't sleep at my place , like that . Just , I like my own space and I'd phrase it like that . So I like my own sleep . Sleep is important to me . I need my own space .

Speaker 1 6:07

I want to get up in the morning and be productive . So that's what's gonna happen if you come over , and every single girl that I told that to was completely . People appreciate the heads up . The only challenge ever comes or the only , I guess , tension ever comes is if you're she comes over and she might be assuming or thinking that she gets to sleep over , then you guys have sex and then it's like 1 am in the morning and you're like , by the way , you have to go home now . It's like what the fuck ? You could have told me this like 12 hours ago before I came over here this morning , when I got up , you could have told me that . So I like to give people lots of notice , lots of time to prepare for that , but every single girl that I've ever told this to is being completely happy . It hasn't ever been an issue . And so again , at the end of the day , do whatever you wanna do .

Speaker 1 6:52

I guess this podcast is me just giving you permission . If you don't want people to sleep over in your bed because sleep is important to you , you're allowed to tell them beforehand . If sleep is important to you , you're allowed to respect that and tell other people so that they can respect that too . And if someone ever doesn't respect it which basically never happens , by the way , but if someone ever did , then sorry , if they ever didn't respect it , there's probably not someone that you wanna see anyway . And again , I've never had a single person not be okay with going home after we have sex , as long as I tell them first . That's all I got for you today .

Speaker 1 7:27

Ladies and gentlemen , this one was pretty much aimed more at guys , but women , this is directed at you too . Actually , I say this is aimed at guys . There's a woman in my coaching program right now who has asked basically this exact question , but she's asked in the reverse , funnily enough . She felt like she was under some sort of obligation to sleep over at any guy's house that she had sex with . And she asked us like , do I have to sleep over ? And we were like no woman , you're allowed to call yourself an Uber and go home , you don't have to sleep

Sleeping Over and Personal Choices

Speaker 1 7:57

over .

Speaker 1 7:57

And so I think there's a default assumption that a lot of people have , where it's like after sex , they have to sleep over , or I have to sleep , like we have to sleep together , we have to literally go to bed together and get some sleep . And it's like why would you get terrible sleep if you don't want to do that ? You'd sleep better in your own bed . Anyway , you're allowed to do that . And again , if you want to sleep over or you want them to sleep over beautiful , that's amazing , that's awesome . This is me giving you permission to not do that if you don't want to . And again , I have never let any casual sex partner sleep over . The only exceptions are girls that I'm dating for a long time , like Imogen and the girl that we're seeing right now , and even then that's like once every two goddamn months . So , at the end of the day , do whatever you would like to do . Just be honest and upfront about it and other people , for the most part 99% of the time really respect you being upfront and honest and having that integrity to actually say the thing you want or what you don't want .

Speaker 1 8:50

As always , ladies and gentlemen , go out there and crush those goals . If you've been wanting an amazing , awesome , elite sex life , tons of threesomes , plenty of wild adventures and great memories with awesome people , we would love to help you get there . Here's just a little bit of what our coaching clients have achieved in their time in the program . Renee had a threesome in just his second week of coaching , had a woman write him a love letter and he went on to have sex with 12 women in just 12 weeks of coaching . Corky had his first threesome , slept with seven amazing women and made a ton of awesome memories with them . Georgian Power both had sex with 10 women each in their 12 weeks , had a bunch of wild adventures along the way . Join me and join them by clicking the coaching link in the description below .