The Power of Embracing Failure

Speaker 1 0:01

Ladies and gentlemen , andy , here I went from depressed and suicidal to living a life of abundance and joy . If I can do it , you sure as hell can too . I want to talk a little bit about confidence , about failure , about avoiding failure , which is often a trap that people get themselves into . I see a lot of guys and girls that are doing everything they can to avoid failing . You know , whether it's going outside and hitting on the opposite sex , or starting a business , or losing weight , whatever it might be , people put so much time and effort and energy into not failing , like they're absolutely terrified of failing and it's their main strategy , or the main thing that they focus on is avoiding failure . And I say , fuck that . Do the exact opposite .

Speaker 1 0:48

I was having a discussion in my coaching group and one of the guys said something that I just absolutely love , so I'm going to read it out here in its entirety . This guy said getting over the fear and anxiety is really just a matter of doing it . You won't get over the fear or anxiety before actually doing the thing that you're scared of . It'll slowly begin to dissipate only from actual experience . You'll have to go through some awkward moments and you'll come out the other side and you'll see that you're okay , because confidence is actually rooted in failure . When you fail and then you come out the other side perfectly fine , failure is no longer a scary specter or a ghost . And my God , is this a genius thing , is this absolutely brilliant ? So confidence is actually rooted in failure . I agree with that wholeheartedly .

Speaker 1 1:43

A lot of people think that confidence comes from succeeding a lot , and yes , if you succeed a lot , that really can make you feel quite confident . It definitely helps . But confidence actually comes from making some mistakes and there are no mistakes as long as it's a learning lesson , but what people would call a mistake or a failure ? You go through that . You see that everything's absolutely fine . You see that the world didn't fall apart . You didn't die because you were a little bit awkward or a little bit cringe worthy or a little bit silly , or people thought you were stupid . You see that nothing bad happens and then you go oh , I guess I'm okay . In other words , the thing that I was most terrified of , you know , the rejection or the failure or the awkwardness or making a mistake or any of that man . There's nothing actually to be scared of there , because if it happens I will be okay , and confidence really is rooted in failure . I say confidence is knowing that it doesn't matter if you fuck up , because you know nothing bad will happen . Confidence is not being afraid . It's not succeeding a whole lot and going , wow , look at me , I always succeed . No , you will still be scared of failure if you've never failed . So confidence is actually failing a lot and seeing that everything is okay and getting to that point when you don't even call it a failure , you just call it a stepping stone to get towards confidence or competence . And I often say this as well Confidence comes from competence . In other words , when you become competent at something , when you know what you're doing and you've done it a few times and you think you're decent at it , that is confidence , or that brings confidence .

Speaker 1 3:27

And half of what I teach you guys and girls is give yourself permission to suck . Don't be perfect . Focus on progress , not perfection . You know I'm not perfect myself . Here are all of my flaws and insecurities , and it doesn't matter . I can be full of doubt , I can have no idea what I'm doing half the time , but that doesn't matter . I know that nothing bad will happen If I'm not perfect . You know I talk about being honest until the girl . If you're a guy , tell the girl that you're dating or that you're seeing that you're nervous . Like drop your ego , be humble , be okay with making mistakes . All of these are different ways of saying .

Speaker 1 4:04

Nothing bad happens if you're not perfect . Nothing bad happens if you get rejected . Nothing bad happens if you look like an idiot sometimes . Nothing bad happens if somebody else hates you . Nothing bad happens if somebody breaks up with you . Nothing bad happens if somebody says no to you . Nothing bad happens if a bunch of people think that you're stupid or ugly or creepy or perverted or whatever word that you might be afraid of . Nothing bad happens if you ask your boss for a raise and then he or she says no . Nothing bad happens .

Speaker 1 4:36

That's confidence . So again , to really underline this , confidence isn't succeeding a whole lot and then going look at me , I'm the arm on top of the world , I'm confident . No , that is often just bravado and false confidence . It's fake in a lot of cases . Confidence is knowing that nothing bad will happen if you fuck up and the quickest way to show yourself down Is to go out there and get rejected . To go out there and fail a bunch . To go out there and make mistakes . And again I say this a million times there is no rejection , there is no failure , there is no mistakes . If you learn from it , so go out there and have some people tell you , no , it will make you a stronger human being . If they do go out there and make some supposed mistakes , they won't be mistakes , they'll be learning lessons and you go out .

Speaker 1 5:25

The worst that ever happens if I'm not competent at something is I learned something and I grow and I develop and I evolve . Man , failing or making a mistake is actually a beautiful thing . Because I evolve , I become better man . I can't wait to make mistakes . In fact , how the fuck could I even call these mistakes shit ? Maybe it's not mistakes , it's training , it's practice , it's learning , it's knowledge , it's evolution , it's making myself a better person .

Speaker 1 5:54

Damn , I can't wait to go out there and fail and get rejected and make some mistakes . You know what Fuck this ? I'm gonna run straight towards the thing that is scaring me , because I know that if I run towards making a mistake or failing or rejection or any of these words that limit me , I know if I run towards those things , man , I'm gonna evolve , I'm gonna become a better person . I'm gonna like myself more . Other people are gonna like me more . I'm gonna get more of what I want . I'm gonna be more successful . So go out there , take some risks , run towards the things you want and don't avoid rejection , don't avoid failure , don't avoid making mistakes . In fact , run towards them , because that's where the magic lies , that's where the self-improvement lies , that's where the good juicy stuff is . By making these mistakes , by failing , by falling over and getting back up again and getting back on the horse , that's how you improve .

Speaker 1 6:47

I say this a million times , especially to people who are sort of scared of rejection or scared of failure or scared of making a mistake . I say I have failed ten times more than you have even tried . In other words , I have made so many mistakes . Again . I don't believe in mistakes , it's a learning lesson but I have made so many quote mistakes . I have done a million things that didn't work out . I've looked silly a million times . I've had people criticize me ten billion times by this point , and all of that has been the thing that has led me to where I am today . I have only succeeded because I have failed so many times , and so anytime you're sitting there thinking , man , I really want to achieve my goals . I really want to be confident . Run towards mistakes , run towards failure , run towards looking like an idiot , run towards that shit . That's where the magic is .

Speaker 1 7:44

I'll finish up by reading out something from one of my old coaching clients . So I've mentioned this a few times . I go into the Discord , which is our members only accountability area that everybody has like lifetime access to if they sign up for coaching , and I like to like ask some of the old clients what have you been up to since we last worked together ? What are you working on ? You know what are your goals and all of that kind of stuff . So I'll read out what one of the guys wrote recently . He said I signed up for the coaching around August 2021 , I can't believe it's been two years since then . During my time with coaching with you , I was able to land four dates with girls that I'd never met or talked to through a cold approach and the numbers game . Since I finished the coaching , I then graduated from my college .

Speaker 1 8:29

I'm currently looking for my own job , away from my parents , and the accomplishment that I'm proud of since I finished the coaching is restarting my YouTube channel and have one of my videos gain over 40,000 views and get me almost 500 subscribers , which is fucking insane . I love that . I remember in the coaching group this guy had talked about , we'd kind of debated or he'd debated whether or not he wanted to start up his YouTube channel again and obviously we all encouraged him but he was busy with girls and college and all of that . So that makes me genuinely happy . I'm really happy to hear that he goes on to say I still check in with the discord every other week . Seeing everyone's progress and updates is really inspiring and it helps keep me refreshed and motivated for my goals . It's also just really nice to have a place just dedicated to self-improvement and know that these guys take it as seriously as I do . Yeah , I really like the , the members only group that we've built . It's basically a nice little family or community and they're everyone's super nice and encouraging to everybody else . It's it's fucking awesome , especially , like I said , because everyone can stay in there for the rest of their life . It's a really nice community .

Speaker 1 9:33

He goes on to say Richard Wiseman , who's a professor at the University of Hertfordshire , once did a study about lucky and Unlucky people and he found that people who are lucky are those that maximize opportunities given to them . They are more open to new experiences , more extroverted and less neurotic . Just letting you know that the secret to good luck is simply trying out new shit and seeing if you like it . If someone has the money and they're willing to have an open mind , then I recommend your coaching program . It will literally make you into a more fortunate and lucky person . In other words , just fucking do it . I

Coaching, Video Courses, and Appreciation

Speaker 1 10:08

hope this helps .

Speaker 1 10:08

Andy , it's good catching up . I still keep up with your content and channel . It's one of my favorites on YouTube . Yeah , big shout out to this guy . I super appreciate him writing on that .

Speaker 1 10:16

And obviously , if you would like to sign up for coaching , there's links in the description below . If you're not sure about coaching , you can always take like the little trial versions . I guess that they are $200 coaching calls with me will sit down for an hour or so and you can think of it like a mini version of the coaching program . So you're always welcome to grab one of those . There's a link in the description below to those . If money is tight , you can always grab my video course which is called play to win how I built a winners mindset . You can grab that for whatever amount you would like to pay , even if that's just one dollar , so that all of that is in the link or in the description I should say down below , as always , ladies and fabulous gentlemen , have an amazing day , have an amazing Christmas . We're almost at Christmas and have a bloody wonderful new year . I'm gonna keep doing content , so probably just talk to you soon . But have a good bloody life and go out there and crush those goals .