Overcoming Depression and Finding Joy

Speaker 1 0:00

Ladies and gentlemen , boys and girls , andy , here I went from depressed and suicidal to living a life of abundance and joy . If I can do it , you sure as hell can too . In my coaching program there's this guy that was feeling a little depressed and what we were doing was getting him to just take action and do the things that he used to love before he was feeling depressed , the things that used to bring him some joy . And over the weeks and over the months he found that his depression started to fade into the background just a little bit . And something that he said was depression has robbed me of all pleasures in things that I used to love doing . Now that I'm healthier mentally , I'm discovering the joy in the things that I used to like to do . And we had this big conversation and I said to him the big epiphany will come when you realize , when you move past all of this and realize depression didn't rob me of anything . It was more that I just stopped doing some of the things that I loved .

Speaker 1 1:04

And a lot of people on this topic see depression as this tangible thing , this ghost or this specter , and I used to see it like that as well . I myself was depressed from about age 14 to about roughly 21 or 22 , and I was suicidal for a lot of that , and I used to see depression as this , like tangible thing . I put a label on it , I called it a thing . You know , it was this black dog or this black cloud that used to follow me around and haunt me . But as I moved through my depression , as I overcame it , as I learned to become an optimist , what I found was a depression wasn't so much this tangible thing , at least not for me . It was more .

Speaker 1 1:51

That depression was a lack of doing things , a lack of things . You know , for me it was a lack of doing the things that I loved . It was a lack of friends . It was a lack of vulnerability and connection with others . It was definitely a lack of loving myself . It was a lack of some sort of mission or some purpose or something that drove me drove me , in other words , some sort of goals or something that was higher than myself . It was a lack of sex . In some ways it was a lack of progress . It was a lack of feeling like every day was a tiny bit better than the previous one . It was a lack of feeling like I mattered . It was a lack of feeling like that I could have any impact on the world or even on my own life . It was a lack of feeling like I had any control , you know . It was a lack of feeling like anyone really cared about me . It was a lack of responsibility definitely that one . It was a lack of the tools to deal with life . It was a lack of things that brought me joy . It was a lack of caring about other people and having responsibilities . It was a lack of having daily to-do list , tasks and things that I worked on every day .

Speaker 1 3:00

It was absolutely a lack of hobbies , a lack of interests . It was a lack of going out and trying new things . It was a lack of exploring . It was definitely a lack of going outside . I stopped going outside for a really long time .

Speaker 1 3:15

It was a lack of energy because I wasn't sleeping , so it was that as well , a lack of good sleep . It was a lack of keeping up basic hygiene and grooming . You know , I sort of stopped showering , I stopped trimming my beard , I stopped putting any effort into my appearance . It was a lack of trying . I kind of opted out of life . It was a lack of feeling like the universe was there .

Speaker 1 3:37

For me . It was a lack of exercise , it was a lack of feeling like everything would be okay . It was a lack of feeling like things will work themselves out . It was a lack of hope , it was a lack of love , it was a lack of wanting to live and , most of all , it was a lack of any sort of joy . And so I found in my own life , depression was more avoid . It was A lack , a lack of rather than a thing . And , as I said to this client in the coaching program , now that you're starting to do the things that you really love again Depression that's a big reason why the depression has started to fade a little bit . You know , maybe you don't need that depression anymore because you're too busy living life , and so , if any of you are listening and you're feeling a little depressed , or maybe you're feeling a little stuck , maybe you're feeling a little bit hopeless , the thing that really helped me was taking action , just doing something , and it can be any of the things that I listed . I just listed 50 things that or 50 things that were a lack of that contributed to my depression If you just took any of those or a couple of those and started taking some tiny little baby steps . You start moving towards a little tiny bit of joy . And it's not that there's necessarily giant changes that happen overnight although with some people there is but it's often just taking those little , tiny baby steps , even if they seem insignificant , they seem like they won't make a difference , they seem like they don't matter , they seem like they're not going to be life changing . But those little bits and pieces do add up slowly over time , and that was how I worked through my depression .

Speaker 1 5:21

My parents , when I was really depressed and my life fell apart and I went back to live at home with them and I was just a complete wreck . At that point I just wanted to die every single second . I'd felt that way for years . But it all came to a head when I fell apart and moved back with my parents and all they did was , every day , they just gave me a list of some to-do list items to do . You know like , do the dishes , vacuum the house ? These tasks seemed so insignificant to me . They seemed like a waste . What is the point of doing the dishes if I want to die ? What is the point of vacuuming the house if we're all going to die anyway and life is suffering , and all of these thoughts that were in my head , all of these stories that I believed . But I did what I was told . I argued a lot , but I did what I was told and I found that as I just slowly started taking these baby steps , even though they seemed completely like a waste of time , I would do the dishes , I would vacuum the house and then slowly I worked up the courage to go out and mow the lawn and then from there do more chores , more housework , leave the house a little bit , go for a walk by myself , because I was at that point incapable of going outside and talking to other human beings or even just being around other humans . But as I slowly started expanding my sphere of , I guess , responsibility but my sphere of action , and I was able to do more and more and more , I found that I just didn't have as much of a need for depression anymore . The depression kind of just faded a little bit on its own and then from there I was able to go and walk around outside and make one or two friends and then apply for a job and get that job and then slowly started doing more and more stuff . So that was the way that I moved through my depression . That was the way that this particular coaching client did as well .

Speaker 1 7:12

I've worked with plenty of people with depression . There's an interview on my YouTube channel with a woman named Thea who was depressed and suicidal and that was all I really did with her or all she did for herself , I can say . But she just started doing little bits and pieces and doing some of the things that she wanted to do . That used to bring her joy and slowly the depression just faded a little bit and she at this point is now married and she seems very happy and that brings me a lot of joy as well . So I've seen plenty of people overcome their depression . So I promise , if you feel that way yourself , there is hope .

Overcoming Depression

Speaker 1 7:48

But it does often require you to turn towards the things that maybe your brain says you don't want to do . Your depression . It might be saying I don't want to do this , there's no point , this is a waste of time . That's definitely how I felt . But if you're able to just take a tiny little baby step , the tiniest little thing , I promise they add up over time , they compound over time and slowly you're able to do more and more .

Speaker 1 8:13

I have a big guide on depression and I guess it's also if you're feeling a little hopeless or just a little sad or a little down . I'll leave a link in the description below to that . I have a whole list of resources and books and articles that I have written and it tells my full story as well as how I overcame depression , how I then learned to become an optimist , which really was just practice . Over and over and over again . Optimism is a habit that you build . It's something that you can create in yourself if you want to .

Speaker 1 8:42

I think most people do want to . I don't know anyone that actively wants to feel shit . Your depression often tells you that you want to feel shit , but deep down there is a feeling of I just want this to be over . That's why people get suicidal , because they wish the depression wasn't there and they wish for it to end . But yeah , that's my story . Hope you found this interesting . As always . Go out there , crush those goals and if you're feeling a little down , I promise you there is hope , even if it doesn't feel like there is .